Pro-Filed

Live in the Moment - Take a Load Off!

2010-02-09T15:41:00.006+11:00

I learned such a great, refreshing lesson today. I learned to live in the moment. Not just to enjoy the moment but to live in it. I realised that I don't need to be thinking about what I have to do next week, tomorrow or even in thirty minutes. I need to do the task at hand and worry about the next one when it comes.

I was driving to school planning how I was going to get the kids into the post office, make sure they didn't touch anything as we waited to be served, get them back into the car (without them being run over), get to school in time to pick Isabella up, then off home to cook and serve an early tea in time for swimming lessons, more tea and all showered and in bed in time so I could leave at 7pm for a meeting. Phew! I was feeling a bit stressed.

Such a weight of stress lifted off my shoulders as I realised - I can't do anything about tomorrow right now. I can't even do anything about what's happening in half an hour so I might as well stop worrying.

We all need to plan for the future but once that's done, put it aside and focus on the NOW. The rest will take care of itself.
Cool pic thanks to zazzle.com

Spice Up Your Bedroom!

2010-01-29T11:56:00.004+11:00

What is your bedroom like? Comfy, cosy and relaxing? Modern, hip and organised? A make-shift storage facility? Ours was the latter, and depressingly so. Does anyone else sleep better in a tidy, pretty room? I do. And of course the ambience and style of a room affects other things... you don't need me to spell it out I'm sure...

So, I'm officially back online. Back from my cyber-attical... (haha pun intended). While I was away I found myself dreading coming home to our cramped, cluttered, ugly bedroom. So, without sending myself into a tail-spin, I decided to gradually declutter and start again. Each day I did one job - big or small - just as long as I did at least one thing towards improving our master bedroom.

As with everything, it happened in three main phases:

Phase One:
Declutter. It's quite amazing how much rubbish can be 'stored', no matter how organised everything looks. Chuck it out, have a garage sale, stop by the op-shop bin, call the council and organise a roadside rubbish pick up. Whatever you do, get rid of all that junk! I was amazed what a difference this made to the feel of the room. It took me about a week, doing bits here and there when I could. I reorganised the desk and decluttered all the surfaces. The whole feel of the room was immediately lifted. Everyone breathe out. Aaaaah...

Phase Two:
It's time to dream! Now that all the clutter's gone, there's room for your imagination to flow! I've spent many wistful moments in my bedroom this week, imagining possibilities and choosing colour and design themes. What do you want your bedroom to be? A place of relaxation, parents retreat, love-making hotspot? I wanted all of the above... It would be nice to have a room that spiced things up, don't you think? What colours textures and patterns will you use? What feel are you going for? I'll be going for red and white as my base with sumptuous fabrics, textures and scattered words bringing it all together. I can't do anything drastic so there'll be no painting, new curtains or flooring. Can you repaint or recover the floors? If so, the sky is your limit!

Phase Three:
Change. This bit could seem overwhelming or expensive but you can do whatever you want and keep it within a budget, you just need to get creative! My one splurge was a new quilt and pillow cover set. Our original set was a wedding gift and although lovely, it was high time for a new, fresh one. I bought a beautiful fresh white linen set from IKEA (approx $80 inc 4 pillow covers) and the change was well worth the dosh. A candle in a red vase, some oversized tea lights and a blown-up version of our engagement photo made the bedside table. I'm on the hunt for some proverbs or verses that will add to the feel of the room. I have a thing about painting words so I'm going to paint them on canvases in colours to match our theme. Throw rugs and cushions pull it all together (I'll be scouring the local opshops and ebay for some bargains).

Is your room due for an overhaul? Let us know how you go!

Travelling tips

2009-12-23T16:05:00.005+11:00

We're packing up, ready to go on a family holiday for a couple of weeks. I didn't even think about how the kids were going to survive all the travelling until yesterday. I did a quick online search and found these two sites packed full of great travelling with kids ideas!

http://www.momsminivan.com
http://travelwithkids.about.com

Here are some of the ideas I found that I'm going to try out:

Foil figurine making - take a roll of aluminium foil and give the kids challenges eg. make a robot out of foil

Car bingo - printable car bingo cards available at www. momsminivan.com

Bubbles - that will be fun!

Tape/Post-Its - pass them to the back seat and let the kids go for it! I'm not expecting to be able to see much out of the back windows :o)

Pipe cleaner creatures - take a long some pipe cleaners so the kids can get creative.

Card games - don't forget the simple old-fashioned games like snap!

Trip journal - simple exercise books are perfect for your children to create memories in.

Have a wonderful trip! (oh, and please share your tips too!)

PS - these posts are going to become even more sporadic over the next few weeks. Have a great Christmas in the meantime - see you next year! xo

And here ends the first year..

2009-12-16T12:05:00.004+11:00

GB5 finished Kindergarten this week. I can't believe she's already finished her first year at school! Looking back on the year, we've learned heaps and made a lot of changes.

Above: Isabella (GB5) graduating from preschool last year. Below: Graduating from Kindergarten last week.

What I would do differently if I had the chance...

I would be more involved in school. As a first time kindy parent and new to the school, I often felt that I had no idea what was going on during the whirlwind of Isabella's first year of school. Now I realise that if I'd joined the P&C, I would've had easy access to whatever answers I needed and would've been part of a pre-established support and social network. I'm planning to join next year.

What we did well...

Some of the different friendship difficulties that arose were quite trying at times. It's not breaking news that children can be nasty. I think we came through it well though, with most of her friendships intact and many important life lessons learned. Isabella has learnt tolerance and grace and even how to stand up for herself!

What I've learned...

I've found now that Isabella is a school girl, that her time at home is so much more enjoyable. I really enjoy weekends and holidays now because I'm able to enjoy having her home after missing her during the week.

I've also learned that my children aren't going to necessarily be the best and fastest at everything - perhaps not anything right now - and that's okay.

I've learned to push my children's limits and confidence levels and that as long as I'm there to help them process what might turn into a negative situation, they'll be okay.

I've learned that if a child is grumpy and naughty when I pick them up from school, it generally means they've had a bad day and they need to talk about it.

Mostly I've learned, not to judge by first impressions. We're all doing our best at this parenting thing.

High maintenance child = Empty 'love tank'?

2009-12-10T14:21:00.006+11:00

GB5 has been pretty high maintenance lately. Always wanting more, never happy with what she has, usually grumbling about something. This isn't her usual way. Normally, she's a happy, friendly little chick, who knows what she wants but is happy to compromise.

I've been going through the cycle; guilt, frustration, anger... then lastnight, after I had a good whinge about our regular standoffs, my husband worked out the problem - her 'love tank' isn't being filled ('love tank' is a term used by Gary Chapman when talking about feeling loved - a person who know's they're loved has a full 'love tank').

We've noticed that she jumps all over Matt when he gets home - without giving up - and is always nagging me to draw with her or read to her... we gradually realised that our little miss needed our time and undivided attention and that she wasn't getting enough. My initial reaction was something like, "Great, just add it to the bottom of my list. Like I have time to do anything else!" but it slowly dawned on me that if we could manage to show her just how special and appreciated she is, she'd probably become a lot easier to be around. Not to mention a much happier child!

We pulled out Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages and had a read through the children's section. We were having breakfast and I was reading it aloud to Matt. The next thing I know, GB5 sidles around the table and plops down next to me, "Keep reading mum - I love it!" How ironic. After I finished reading the section I asked her if she could remember times when she'd felt really loved by me. This is what she said: "Remember that time when I was sick and I couldn't go to the toilet so you carried me there? And when I was home from school and we just hung out?"

Bingo!

It breaks my heart to think that she hasn't been feeling loved or appreciated lately. With two younger kids and a hectic schedule, I can see now that she's fallen through the cracks. By the time she gets home from school, I'm exhausted and gearing up for the dinner/bath/bed slog.

After some discussion we decided that the extra half hour GB5 is awake after her brother and sister go to bed is going to be 'our time'. We've realised that we need to make something of those precious thirty minutes. Maybe read a book or do some drawing with her. Or just sit and chat about our day.

It will be interesting to see the results and if there are any changes in her behaviour.

Do you know what your children's love languages are? How do you make sure their little 'love tanks' are full?

It would break a mother's heart

2009-12-09T13:06:00.009+11:00

1500 mothers and 10 000 newborns die every day due to complications that could have been prevented just with the presence of a skilled birth attendant*.

This statistic is heartbreaking. As a mother, this is a subject that brings me to tears, more than I ever expected it would. I have three beautiful, healthy children but when I consider the complications we endured during their deliveries, I realise that if we weren't so blessed to live in Australia, I would've ended up as one of those statistics. More than likely, my children would have too. I retained products with all three and haemhorraged with two. It doesn't take much to kill you if you don't have the right medical support.

To put this into perspective, as Australians we have a one in 13 000 chance of suffering fatal birth complications. In Niger - the nation with the world's highest maternal death rate - women's chances of death are one in seven**. One in seven! Think about your girlfriends, sisters, mother... one in seven is a very high ratio. Some communities in countries with similar statistics won't name their children until they reach five. Why? It hurts less that way.

Stories telling of families torn apart by maternal mortality abound. To read the stories of two women who, until now were voiceless, click here. New Internationalist devoted a whole (heartbreaking) section of their March 2009 issue to the subject. Compassion has just launched a new arm Rescue Babies Now and features story after story of women and children saved through vital medical and practical intervention and education.

The reality is, as women and/or mothers we're the most likely group to feel for these women and their children, enough to want to do something about it. Realistically and unfortunately, most of us can't fly over and work in the fields for months on end or donate large amounts of money.

We must not feel powerless.

A real sense of empowerment came when I clicked on to Rescue Babies Now and saw the programs they have set up:

$100 ensures that a woman has access to a skilled attendant during the birth of her child.

$63 can provide a Survival Specialist with a backpack filled with the supplies needed to care for mums and babies. Some items included are: First aid kit, scale, sanitation supplies, oral rehydration therapies, bible, age-appropriate toys, books, soap, towels, etc.

$52 ensures a child has access to all needed vaccinations up through their 4th birthday.

$44 provides a month worth of food and/or nutritional supplements to ensure that mums and babies are not malnourished (although costs vary per country, $44 is the average amount needed to provide for the nutritional needs of one mum and one baby for one month).

In our household, we don't have much extra to give but this issue is really important to me as a mum and as a woman. I feel that I have a responsibility to my international 'sisters' to do the right thing by them and fight for their lives and those of their children.

If you'd like to support these women and their beautiful children, please visit my secure
fundraising page (I'm trying to raise enough money to supply professional maternal medical assistance to 10 women) or donate directly to Rescue Babies Now.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about the sadness surrounding this topic. Even by just reading through this, you're helping alleviate the problem.

* http://rescuebabiesnow.org
** www.newint.org
Photo

Nordegren vs Woods. A lesson learned.

2009-12-07T21:59:00.003+11:00

The public demise of Tiger Woods' marriage has been horrible to watch. I feel so sad for his wife. I don't read glossies so I don't really know what's going on (although I doubt very much that the glossies do either.. ) but Elin Nordegren - aka Mrs Tiger Woods - has been publicly humiliated, what I would assume to be one of her greatest nightmares coming true, splashed over just about every media-seized surface in the western world.

What I've been reminded of as I've watched this heartbreaking story unfold, is that we put too much emphasis on how we look. Ms Nordegren is a beautiful woman who used to be a model. Even still, Tiger cheated. If you believe the tabloids, he cheated regularly, indiscretely and in excess, even though he was married to a stunningly beautiful woman.

As I said earlier, I don't know what's going on in their relationship and I'm not about to pretend to know - it's not even any of my business to know, or to have an opinion on it. But feeling insecure about (what we feel are) physical inadequacies, is not worth the emotional stress and pain it causes. We all have features that we're not happy with. Big, small, flat, round, straight, curly, black, brown - the grass isn't always greener! Physical perfection does not bring happiness - in marriage or otherwise.

There is so much pressure on women to look 'perfect'. In the movies, the beautiful girls always get the hot guys. The not so beautiful girls seem to usually fill the 'baddie' role. How about the 'ugly stepsisters'? What's with that?! What, they're bad because they're 'ugly'?

As a woman (and wife) sometimes I find myself caught in the trap. I feel like it's my 'duty' to look as good as possible, all the time. If I don't, I'm not doing a good enough job, I seem to tell myself. Where do these thoughts come from? I have no idea, but I have a feeling that I'm not alone.

Outer beauty is not enough to save a relationship. Sure, it's great to take care of ourselves and have a bit of fun along the way, but there's way too much priority put on outward appearances.

If a model's husband strays, this is proof enough for me - looks shouldn't be my priority. They're never going to be enough to build a strong, lasting relationship.

This You-Tube really puts this in perspective.

My husband is great

2009-12-01T13:38:00.009+11:00

It’s not really ‘in’ to brag about your husband – or even to say anything nice about him at all! That sux because he's actually one half of a very powerful union.

I’ve been inspired to speak more highly of my husband and tell others how I feel about him and what he does for our family. Malia at Blissfully Domestic encourages her readers to share their thoughts about their husbands. Happy thoughts. Examples of his care and encouragement. Maybe something little he did to brighten their day. No backhanded compliments. No teasing when they don’t quite get it right. After all, we’d be pretty cut if all the guys got together and laughed at us behind our back every time we locked our keys in the car or forgot to take the kids to swimming – wouldn’t we? I think so.

This 'bagging our husbands' trend is one I don’t want to follow so I’m going to put my positive thoughts out there, in cyberspace. Feel free to join me if you so desire.

You might think it's corny (and I've tried very hard not to be) but really, can it do any harm?

So here goes.

My husband is my best friend. He's the only person on this planet who can do so many amazing things in my life.

He's the only one who I can totally, honestly, be myself with. I have awesome friends and family who are such wonderful parts of my life but no one can do what he does.

He's the only one who can calm my nerves or quell my worries. He always seems to have the right words.

He makes me laugh like no one ever has or ever will. Just a sidewards glance or an off-handed comment can have me in peels of laughter. He has even started to laugh at my jokes - he's definitely the only one who can do that!

He's also a great father to our children. He's the only one who can truly make them feel secure, (especially at the notorious swimming lessons..) He's the best one at keeping them in line and helping them to truly understand respect.

There are so many great things I could write about my husband but I guess the most important thing is: He's the best one for me and I'll alway be grateful for him. xox

Experiment - are you willing?

2009-11-27T10:14:00.004+11:00

It's FRIDAY!! The end of a long, hot week. Hopefully for all of you today signals the beginning of a couple of days of lovely, well-earned rest.

To kick off the weekend I thought I'd do an experiment. I really enjoy Mia Freedman's best and worst bits of the week segment. It's always really theraputic to look back through the week and remember the greatest times and the moments you could do without. What do you think? Shall we give it a go? If it goes well, I'll do it each Friday..

Here's mine (but I really want to hear yours)

Best part of the week: Realising that if I buy or make smaller santa sacks (as opposed to our current massive, pillow slip sized ones), they will be filled much more quickly! And realising - again - that Christmas really is all about family and God's love so simple presents are the way to go.

Worst part of the week: We're going to a funeral today :o( A lovely family friend passed away last week. She had a wonderful life and has left an amazing legacy but she will be missed.

How was your week?

I L.I.K.E you better when you are N.O.T around

2009-11-25T20:41:00.007+11:00

I, along with most of the population, am totally in love with Kate Miller-Heidke and her music. Her new album has practically melded itself to the CD player in our car. The kids LOVE it. I usually listen to Hope 103.2 (they make sure their music is always suitable for little ears - no censorship needed there!) but I've found that Kate's album - Curiouser - is not only a great listen, but it's helped cement some of the things the kids have been learning about lately.

Two songs in particular have made an impact on the girls.

Caught in the Crowd is Kate's heart felt apology to a boy - James - who she befriended then betrayed in high school. She tells the story of how they used to race home from school on their bikes and slowly built a friendship. James didn't have many friends at school and oneday when some of the kids were pushing him around, he saw Kate and called out her name... and she turned and walked away.

Everytime I hear this my insides turn to mush. Not because I was bullied at school - I was painfully quiet so got off pretty much scott-free - but because this is such a sad reality for so many people. Something that's really important to Matt and I is that our children grow up with an awareness of other people's feelings and needs - not just their own.

The girls have dubbed this song The Sorry Song and talk about how sad James was when Kate walked away from him. They've learned how important it is to stick by our friends and that to refuse to be someones friend will hurt them deeply. They ask to listen to it over and over again and I'm happy to oblige - the lesson they're learning is so important.

Song number 2 on my plug list is I Like You Better When You Are Not Around. Startling title but awesome message. See for yourself:

(This isn't the entire song, I've cut out a few verses... )

Long, long ago in the years BC
The women used to gossip while they made their tea
It's been our method of survival, right from the start
But girl you've really gone and turned it into an art

After I see you I feel dirty as hell
Like you've contaminated me with that peculiar smell
That comes from dishing up the dirt on all your closest friends
"I mean like what the hell is with her, I mean, no offence"

So please don't take it to heart
When I say can we start to spend time apart
But frankly my dear
This friendship is toxic
Like a fox and a hound

I like you better when you're not around

Don't wanna hear about your bitchy scene
And I don't really care who gave who what disease
As if don't even know you say just the same about me
Do you really think I'm that naïve?

Great lyrics hey. You should hear it, the tune is even better!

At first I didn't play this song around the kids but then I realised the gem it actually is. I explained to them that people don't actually want to be friends with mean people. When we talk about others and say nasty things about them, people often think to themselves, "I wonder if they say mean things about me. I don't really want to be their friend anymore". It really got them thinking.

What do you think? Do you use music to teach your children about life? Would you let them listen to these songs?

Happy hour

2009-11-24T17:57:00.001+11:00

Our neighbours probably think we have a dog. GB5 seems to be sensitive to dairy and every few weeks we get slack and give her milk, after which she barks and barks and barks. Day and night. I don't know why we keep being so remiss - we seem to talk ourselves into believing that she's not really sensitive - maybe she had a cold last time?

Anyway. GB5 is very dilligent about making sure that she doesn't drink milk or eat milk products. She's just that kind of child. You know, the type that doesn't miss anything.

A few weeks ago we had Beef Stew. This is a bit of a favourite in our house but this time GB5 had a very worried expression on her face as I served her meal. "No!" she exclaimed, to my surprise. "I can't eat beef Mum, it's dairy!"

Told you she didn't miss anything :o)

PS - The photo is thanks to The UK Sun. I just had to use it - check out the eyes on that thing!

3 fun (& FREE!) things to make

2009-11-23T21:27:00.007+11:00

With the recent sweltering weather, we've all been spending a lot of time inside. TV gets old pretty quickly so here are three boredom busters we invented last week, which didn't bust the bank. Each activity was best suited to one of the three GruBers. GB5 loved making the paperbark letters, GB4 was right into the robot thing and GB2 had a ball making cakes.

Paperbark letters:

I found some beautiful pieces of paperbark on the medium strip and bought them home for the kids. While the two littlies weren't all that excited, GB5 got out her pens straight away and scribbled away for ages. The result is quite effective - don't you think?! Instead of coloured pens you could use crayons, paint, soft pencils.. You could use anything really, as long as your little artists don't have to press too hard -this may break the bark. GB5 quite enjoyed the different textures of the bark too, which also helps in giving them an appreciation of nature. How quaint ;o)

Materials:
Paperbark = $0
Pens/pencils/crayons/paint from around the house = $0
Total: FREE

Robot man:

GB4 was asking to make a robot all morning so we had a look through the craft area (which is just a pile of old wrapping paper, ribbon and containers) and found some bits and pieces. We glued them all together with wood glue and the resulting character is quite charming I think :o) GB4 really enjoyed the project because she was able to make it however she liked. It all felt very PlaySchool!

Materials:
Old packaging and boxes = $0
Glue/tape from around the house = $0
Old gift wrap/ribbon = $0
Total: ZIP

Cake:

This little invention actually emerged while GB4 and I were making the robot. GB2 was getting bored and fidgety so I passed him a couple of the bits and pieces we weren't using. After lining up the patty pans and 'counting' them again and again, he shoved them all into the old lettuce container and started calling it cake! It does look quite similar to store bought muffins, don't you think? He really enjoyed the whole thing and was still playing with them the next day. If you don't have any old (squashed and unusable) patty pans lying around, just a circle cut out of paper would do the trick nicely.

Materials:
Old container = $0
Patty pans or paper rounds = $0
Total: NADA

Enjoy!

Mulberry trees and garden wees - Kate Wattus

2009-11-18T21:35:00.009+11:00

My Child magazine has just finished their 2009 My Life writing competition. If you like, skip over and read some of the final entries.

I loved so many of them but this one gave me a giggle so I wanted to share.

MULBERRY TREES AND GARDEN WEES by Kate Wattus

Before becoming a mum I lived in a fantasy world of manners and mores, where children ate their meals in the seated position at a table. Where children said ‘please’and ‘thank you’. Where children replied when others spoke to them. Where children took their shoes off at the door. And last but by no means least, where children relieved themselves atop a piece of plumbed porcelain.

My game plan was pretty simple; spend enough time nurturing the Big Five, and things
would just fall into place. After all, apart from the small matter of my half-finished
education degree, I had all the time in the world to spend with my firstborn. And kids
just do what you tell them, right? Stop laughing please.

My eldest daughter’s manners were impeccable from day one. She always removed her
shoes at the front door. She would not only answer when spoken to, but engage the
speaker in a detailed discussion on any number of topics. And I could have taken her for
a slab of Wagyu at The Hilton, safe in the knowledge she wouldn’t drop her knickers and
do a wee on the clipped lawn if she felt that way inclined. Which is more than I can say
for Paris.

I must confess that the sight of a male, even a small one, thinking it was ok to urinate
in my back yard, just because he could, was unacceptable. It offended my feminine
sensibilities. I was very Jane Austen about the whole thing.

Fast forward nine years, and you could say I’ve loosened up a little. Not only do I have a
child who wees in the backyard, I have a female child who wees in the backyard. And
the front yard. And the neighbours’ yard. And the courtyard at her big sister’s violin
recital.

My youngests penchant for alfresco urination came about after a run of toilet training
mishaps.

‘Do you need to wee, Annouk?’ I’d ask, as that unmistakable expression came over her
face.

‘Yeah!’ she’d say as she scrambled to the edge of the trampoline mat, struggling to
remove her Tinkerbell undies.

Deciding enough was enough, and assuming that Noo would share her older sister’s
conservative views on the public wizz, I came up with a plan.

I gave the practice a name that sounded exciting and non-threatening (the Garden
Wee), and added just a dash of romance and discretion by suggesting she have her own
special location; under our beautiful mulberry tree. It was private. It was shady. And if
the neighbours were having a BBQ on the deck, Noo wouldn’t be providing the live
entertainment.

Not surprisingly, she took to it like a duck to water. We had no more wayward wee
wees. The trampoline stayed dry. And it gave the chickens something to look at if it was
a slow day in the coop.

Pretty soon, Noo decided to do away with the mulberry tree location. The Garden Wee
became the Grass Wee, and pretty soon the Just About Anywhere Wee. Once, while
chatting to our elderly neighbours on their front lawn, Annouk started to lift her skirt.
‘Noo?!’ I hissed, ‘What are you doing?!’

‘I need to do a wee, Mum,’ replied my little one, matter-of-factly.

Despite the fact that Betty and Roy displayed a saintly patience when it came to our
wandering children and chickens, I wasn’t about to force this upon them.

I hurried our polite goodbyes, and managed to get Annouk as far as our own front lawn.
Which brings me to the violin recital. As Britt stood silently poised, and prepared to
execute a perfect rendition of Twinkle Twinkle, Annouk announced that she needed to
perform a twinkle of her own. My spring into action occurred just as Britt’s bow touched
the strings, hence providing the appropriately frantic musical accompaniment for our
dash to deliverance.

‘I really need to go, Mum,’ she called as we dashed, hand in hand, searching for the loo.
I pulled her around the corner of the hall and into the grassy courtyard.

‘Just do it here,’ I whispered, bending to help her disrobe.

As I looked up to stare at the sky while she finished, I saw the Ladies sign just a handful
of metres away on the opposite side of the courtyard.

And that was the moment it all seemed so absurd. I crouched there on the grass beside
my beautiful little girl, and laughed at my Farcical Five; at myself. And I’m happy to say
that Noo joined in.

And now, just a few months down the track, she’s over her Just About Anywhere Wee. I
still see her near the mulberry tree, occasionally indulging. But I don’t think I’ll be
asking her to refrain from hitching up her graduation gown on the university lawn, as I
once had feared. Time has gently taken care of things, as it always does.

And I felt more than just a hint of disappointment when, at the beach just this week,
Noo asked to be taken to the toilets rather than squatting in the white wash.

After all, whether or not kids remove their shoes or remember to say thanks is not what
precious memories of childhood are made of. It’s the sweetness of mulberry trees and
garden wees that I’ll remember when they’re grown, and will forever make me glow.

Photo credit.

Kwun kwitty toodle..

2009-11-16T21:13:00.006+11:00

I love listening to my children chatting away, mispronouncing all their words and expecting whoever's listening to understand exactly what they're saying. I really wanted to capture that stage of their lives so with each of them I quickly jotted down some of their pronunciations - as a keep sake. Even now, only six months after writing GB4's list, reading through I can see how far she's advanced.

I loved this idea because it literally took only a few minutes. So many memory-saving projects take hours, weeks, months, sometimes years! I just get totally overwhelmed and usually fail dismally. But this was so much fun!

Here are some of GB4's three year old pronunciations:

Mismas – christmas

Toodles – noodles

Gwudda – brother

Sissa – sister

Buzzy bar – muesli bar

Bolloll – bottle

Kwun – one

I doe big so – I don’t think so

Gwek – work

Gwimmipool – swimming pool

Kwitty - pretty

How cute! What do you do to preserve memories of your children's language?

Housework hints

2009-11-16T20:19:00.005+11:00

On my quest to enjoying motherhood, I've discovered that organisation is key. Life's not all that much fun when chaos reigns (even if you're sitting doing puzzles with the kids).

One aspect of organisation is housework. Mess stresses me out pretty quickly so I find that having the house in a semi-organised state really helps me enjoy time with my kids and husband more easily. My house certainly isn't organised, or clean, or tidy. The bedrooms are usually messy, the carpet barely vaccuumed and the dishes often piled high. But I find that if I'm able to get a little bit of housework done each day, things don't become overwhelming. I guess I aim for a general state of 'a little bit messy but pretty organised' consistently.

Here's how I made my housework routine work for me. I hope it gives you some ideas!

1. I do one biggish job each day eg. tidy a bedroom, clean a bathroom, vaccuum.

2. I cycle one load of washing most days. I make sure I fold and put away the washing on the day it has dried - otherwise there's trouble. I've been known to have a washing pile two metres high, just waiting to be folded!

3. I write job charts for the two older kids. I find that from the age of three, the thought of having their own jobs and a chart that they can tick off with a texta, is very exciting for them - and very helpful for me! As an example of age appropriate chores, this is what my girls are doing at the moment:

GB4 (Daily jobs: make bed, open blinds in the morning) Mon: Tidy bedroom, tidy kiddie bookshelf/ Tues: Put away her folded washing, empty preschool bag/ Wed: Tidy bedroom, tidy kiddie bookshelf/ Thurs: Put away her folded washing/ Friday: Tidy bedroom, tidy kiddie bookshelf

GB5 (Daily jobs: make bed, homework and school readers, empty school bag, put away clean dishes) Mon: Put away folded washing Tues: Tidy bedroom Wed: Put away folded washing Thursday: Tidy bedroom Fri: Put away folded washing

This may seem like a lot but I've been doing this with them for about a year and have built it up slowly. I started them on one or two jobs a day. I think GB5 started out making her bed and tidying the kiddie bookshelf (when she was three) and GB4 started out by opening the blinds and making her bed (she also started at three). Once they got into the swing of it, I was quite amazed by how helpful it was, not having to worry about doing a lot of those annoying little jobs!

4. The most important thing I've learnt lately about housework is to let myself off the hook. Life goes on and is just as happy if the house is dirty and the bedrooms messy. We all have off days when we can't pull it together and great days when we get heaps done. It's just part of life :o)

What's your housework routine? How do you make it work for you and your family?

How cute is the housewife photo! It's by Theresa Thompson http://www.flickr.com/photos/theresasthompson/

The Wonderful Comfort of a Child...

2009-11-12T09:49:00.006+11:00

My apologies for the lack of post yesterday. We received two batches of bad health news about my parents so needless to say, it was a tough day. Amidst everything that was happening though, I had a beautiful moment with my littlest girl, GB4 and I wanted to share it with you.

I was sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that had happened earlier in the day and GB4 was lying on the couch listening to music, when Justine Clarke came on. All of a sudden I found myself wiggling my nose, blinking my eyes, lifting my eyebrows and looking surprised as Dancing Face began to play. GB4 certainly had her dancing face happening as she wiggled her eyebrows like the best of them. It was such a beautiful moment of joy and laughter amidst my turmoil of emotions. GB4 was so pleased to see her mummy happy again and for a moment, I was able to enjoy the care-free magic of childhood.

During the last couple of days, I've really appreciated the clarity children bring to difficult seasons. A much-loved teddy bought to comfort a teary mum, a caring stroke given by tiny hands or a softly spoken, "Are you alright Mum?" brings so much healing.

Sorry for the serious and somewhat morbid post but that's the glory of blogging - it really is about the realities of life.

xo

Dancing Face is available on I Like to Sing! on CD and DVD

The beautiful image above is from www.synapsenow.com

Have you seen this?

2009-11-10T14:31:00.001+11:00

:o) Hilarious!

Home made dolls and pirates

2009-11-10T12:46:00.009+11:00

We've had so much fun making these little characters. It's been interesting watching the two girls creating their own dolls, each completely different to the other's. I helped out, especially with drawing outlines but I really tried to wait for their prompting (instead of making 'suggestions'). I wanted these dolls to be their genuine creations, reflecting their personalities.

Check out their masterpieces!

GB5 takes great pride in her work. Lines must be straight. Colouring always within the borders. Shades matching perfectly. She wanted her doll to be as close to reality as possible. What a gorgeous little girly she has created!
GB4 took an adlib approach. She likes colouring things in 'colourful' shade. Her doll has splodges of colour here and there, a green face and crazy pink hair. Don't think for a minute that any of it was unplanned though - she knew exactly how she wanted her doll to look, where the splodges would go and what colour they'd be. And don't you just love the result!

Back shot: GB4's doll (left) had two faces :o)
If you're after a bit of fun, why not make one with your child this week. Don't forget to show us your creation!

Home made dolls and pirates

You'll need...

White fabric
Textas/fabric pens
Template (hand drawn)
Pins
Needle
Thread
Scissors
Filling (eg rice, stuffing, beans)
Colourful wool (optional)

Here's how...

1. Fold the fabric in half, lay and pin the template over it and cut it all out - you should now have two pieces.

2. Now the fun begins! Give the kids free reign with the textas. They can draw on a face, clothes, hair, masks, whatever takes their fancy. The more colourful and creative the better! They can choose to make a doll, pirate, snow man, cat, cow... just modify the template to suit their imagination.

3. Now pin the fabric cut-outs together inside out (you'll probably need to do this step for them) and sew around the edge. I used the zig-zag stitch on my sewing machine which did the job quickly and neatly. Make sure you leave the top of the head un-sewed - or else you'll have a very skinny, stuck inside out doll on your hands...

4. Now turn your little person inside out, fill him and hand or machine stitch the remaining opening.

5. If you like, you can add hair, using colourful wool and a large eyed-needle. The kids will love choosing the hair colour and hair style. Plaits? Anyone?

TIP: If you're using regular textas, make sure the dolls don't get wet, hence the bleeding on our dolls' eyes. Oops!

These fun little dolls come from Jane Bull's book Crafty things to make and do.

Update: Some of you may remember GB5's plan to make a Trauma Teddy for sick children. Well, we're progressing, albeit slowly. After a few weeks of practise, we began knitting a teddy this morning, but have chosen a much more simple design. Perhaps when she's a little older we'll try for the Trauma Teddy again... stay tuned for photos of the new member of our family - and simple instructions so you can make one too!

Graffiti - is it more than just an eye sore?

2009-11-09T22:38:00.003+11:00

It's everywhere you look (and everywhere you don't). There's so much of it around that it almost becomes invisible. Just part of the scene. Graffiti is becoming a real problem. It's ugly (although some would argue this), it's costing tax payers millions in clean up bills and it's just plain old wrong. Treating other's property with care is an important lesson, learnt in childhood but is this writing, this 'self expression', teaching our children the exact opposite?

My girls, GB5 and GB4 have reached the age where they know what's right and what's wrong. They also notice things. They notice everything.

I can't count how many times we've had this conversation;

Mum, why did they write on that house?
Some people do that because they think it might be fun but it's the wrong thing to do. It's very important that we treat other people's things very carefully and don't ruin them. The people living there must feel pretty sad that someone has written on their house...

I can see their little minds ticking over long after our conversation and I know that everytime we pass a graffitied wall, sidewalk, building - they see it. What is this teaching them? Should the government be dealing with vandalism more harshly, on account of the message it sends younger generations? I thought it was great when a judge recently sent a young woman to jail for gracing Sydney buildings with her artwork. The majority of the public didn't seem to agree though. There was an outcry. People thought the punishment too harsh, not fitting the crime.

My thought is this; if we don't deal with the problem now, how much worse will it get, as younger generations grow up thinking it the norm?

Image thanks to http://image.guardian.co.uk

Honestly - what do you want for your kids?

2009-11-06T13:21:00.009+11:00

What kind of teenager and adult do you want your kids to be?

Hmm. That one got me thinking. I went to part 1 of a parenting seminar on Tuesday night and this is what the speaker asked us all to think about. My reactionary thought was - I don't want to decide who or what they should be, that's entirely up to them as individuals. Then I realised that as far as ethics, morals and attitudes go, I can (and probably should) have a plan in mind.

So I thought about it and here's what I'd like for my kids;

Respect and common courtesy are in short supply in society at the moment but I'd still like my children to be respectful of their elders and those in authority.

I see common courtesy and good old fashioned manners as being so important. I'd like them to give up their seats for the elderly, unwell or pregnant and show courtesy and consideration to those they meet.

I'd like my kids to be kind, considerate and compassionate members of the community; hardworking, with the confidence to chase their dreams but with enough humility to have healthy priorities; I want them to be able to give and receive love and to have great relationships, especially in marriage and parenthood.

In my mind, marriage really is the most important relationship in our lives because all other relationships stem from it. A healthy marriage breeds healthy, well-adjusted children who are then able to have healthy relationships throughout their lives. If my three manage to have a healthy relationship within their marriage, I'll be so pleased. Life is tough, but separation and divorce are heart-breaking. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make single parents feel bad or inadequate - I was raised by a single mother who did a fantastic job and loved us all whole-heartedly (maybe even enough for two parents) but I'm sure anyone who has been through a separation or divorce would agree - you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.

These are my thoughts... what are yours?

Have you pondered this question for your kids or future family? What do you want for them?

Image thanks to picturepost.wordpress.com/page/36/

Home is where the heart is

2009-11-04T12:56:00.004+11:00

To me, the perfect house doesn't need all the latest bells and whistles, sparkling white benches and fancy light fittings. We're house hunting at the moment and the homes that grab my attention are the ones that have been loved - and loved well. You know the ones I'm talking about. They're aged, out-dated in parts and usually have a few odd paint colour choices.

When walking through these homes, you can feel the stories of those who've lived there in the past, welcoming you into their home. You can envision families eating in the dining room and children, grown by now, playing hide and seek in the yard.

I love a home with character. To buy a home and put my mark on it would be my dream. I don't want to renovate but I'd love for it to be imperfect enough so that I can still tweak little bits here and there. A splash of paint in the girls' room. Brightly coloured curtains in GB2's. A lovely cottage kitchen garden and plenty of room for running around and riding bikes.

To hang family photos, new and old and stretched oil paintings alongside etchings of old buildings and townships. A child-painted art work, framed, and somewhere, my collection of jugs, teacups and teapots. The textures of aged linen and lace contrasted with modern, angled furniture.

To me, my dream home is welcoming and warm. It isn't perfect, there is plenty of room for mistakes, accidents and star charts. Visitors are always welcome and the kettle is often freshly boiled. My home is where I look after friends and family. It's a reflection of who I am. A bit lumpy and bumpy in places, not as flashy and classy as others and certainly not expensively adorned. I'd like to hope though, a little bit friendly.

Post inspired by blogthis.com xox

The snow globe dilemma (and other sparkly things)

2009-11-03T11:05:00.006+11:00

I went shopping for my daughter's (GB3) 4th birthday present yesterday. I wandered the aisles of Target and various toy shops and was caught off guard by the wave of guilt that washed over me. Standing there, looking up at all those noisy, flashing, expensive toys I felt guilty about the fact that our children just don't have that many toys. Don't get me wrong, they have enough! They have a dolls house, trampoline, swings, blocks, trucks, dolls, books, bikes, making things... the list goes on and on. They're definitely not spoilt, mainly because we can't afford for them to be but looking at all these toys I wondered 'do they have enough?'

Then, to top it all off, I thought back to when our first daughter (GB5) was born. People bought her so many beautiful things, snow globes, trinkets and special boxes. I realised, my little GB4 doesn't have anything like this! So, I decided, now was the time to fix that. I wandered around some more in search of the perfect little girls snowglobe and found it. All $80 of it. A pretty little ballerina elephant, dancing to the music. I baulked and couldn't justify spending that much on a snow globe that would just sit on the shelf - no matter how perfect it was. Then I felt even worse! Eventually, I decided to put one on layby and give it to her for Christmas, or next year's birthday.

My dilemma was this. How do you decide what to buy your children for their birthdays and christmas? When is enough enough or not quite enough? Do others feel guilty about all the toys their children 'miss out' on? Is there a group of staple toys every child should have, or can creativity fill the gap? In the end, I settled on a few little ponys and polly dolls, a special box to keep them in (away from little brother GB2's curious fingers), a dress up outfit and some pretty necklaces and hair tyers. Oh, and a fun learning book.

So, do you have a price limit or size limit or no limit at all? Do you your kids more gifts or fewer on birthdays and/or christmas? Am I the only one with these thoughts?

Pretty pink picture thanks to Zazzle.com

New Kid on the Blog...

2009-11-03T10:53:00.000+11:00

(I posted this yesterday but it came up way down below so here tis again!)

Today's new kid on the blog is... (drumroll please)...

the very lovely Cath from Squiggle Mum! I enjoy reading Cath's blog regularly. It's one place where I find inspirational parenting stories and advice, without the mother-guilt. It's also refreshing to have a mum putting her ideas out there, confident enough and humble enough to do it beautifully. Cath's ideas and tips are always practical and fun. I absolutely love her site design too - it's a really good looking site! Anyway, enough of my blabbing. Let me introduce you to Cath.

Why do you blog?
I don't think you choose to be a writer. If you are one, you just are. Words choose you. I figured I might as well be doing something productive with all my words so started blogging in November last year!

Please introduce your blog.
I blog at SquiggleMum (http://squigglemum.com) sharing ideas and inspiration for other mums. I write about indoor and outdoor crafts and activities for young kids, literacy, faith and parenting. I also share useful resources like my Tantrum Tracker. My background in primary education comes in very handy when blogging! I'm not a perfect mum (not even close) but I do try to have a positive outlook on parenting, and I hope my readers feel like they're having a conversation with a friend when they're at SquiggleMum.

What is your favourite blog?
Oh so hard to choose only one. My friend Christie (who I haven't actually met in real life... yet) just won Best Parenting Blog at the Nuffnang Awards in Singapore. Her blog Childhood101 is fabulous (http://childhood101.blogspot.com) and packed with information about the early years.

If you had a factory, what would it do?
Dip perfectly ripe strawberries into chocolate for me and remove the stalks. 24-7.

If you could jump into a massive pool or anything, what would you choose?
sparkling bubbly mineral water in the middle of a rainforest. Heavenly. Any chance my choc-strawberry factory could be nearby...?!

************************

I'm with you on that one Cath - rainforest, strawberries, chocolate, it's all sounding way too good to be true! Congratulations to Christie - what an amazing achievement! I'm on my way over to check her site out right now.

If you'd like to be a part of 'Let's Meet the New Kid on the Blog', please email me at joni.leimgruber@gmail.com

Cheers xox

Thanks cranium.com for your quirky question ideas :o)

Squiggle image thanks to http://www.sbevisdesigns.com

12 word story

2009-10-30T15:06:00.005+11:00

This is such a fun idea for a Friday afternoon - Nambucca Valley Youth Services Centre is running a competition: tell your story in 12 words. The comp's called 12 words (caught you by surprise hey!) It's pretty fun - give it a go if you feel like it! (Don't forget to let me know if you enter too.. )

To enter the competition you need to be under 25 years but they still want others to contribute - just for a bit of fun :o)

Here's mine: Life is like a box of chocolates. It's over way too quickly.

What's yours?

PS - The very lovely Cath from SquiggleMum will be chatting about blogging tonight on connect2mums and giving away all her advice and tips (that's what I'm hoping anyway!) If you want to pick the brain of a very successful, award winning blogger (already, even though she's only been doing it for about 11 months - I think), then register and join in. The chat will stream from 8pm-9pm Qld time.

What's your take on Halloween?

2009-10-28T11:55:00.012+11:00

Is it just me? It seems that Halloween in Australia is really taking off, last year it barely made a ripple. This year it's everywhere!

It's interesting to hear everyone's differing opinions. I'd love to hear about what you're doing this Halloween. If you're celebrating, how will you celebrate? Will you take your kids trick or treating or will they go with a group of friends? Do you stock up on treats to give out to trick or treaters? If you're not into Halloween, how will you approach 'trick or treating' children on your doorstep and why have you decided not to participate?

I'm looking forward to hearing what you think so in the spirit of sharing opinions, here's mine (assuming that you're the least bit interested!);

Halloween has been a hot topic this week in our household. My husband and I decided not to celebrate Halloween a few years back, when the American tradition became popular here. There are two main reasons for this. Firstly, it's an American tradition. Do we really have to follow along with everything the Yanks do? Surely we're creative and inventive enough to think up a fun celebration of our own. I think so! Don't you? We are a smart bunch afterall :o)

Our second, and most important reason is that Halloween is directly opposite to our spiritual beliefs. As Christians, we believe in celebrating the good in life and not evil.

Having said that, we also believe that it isn't our job to go around telling people what they should do or believe. While talking to the kids about Halloween and our beliefs, we've made a conscious effort to make it clear that other families and friends may choose to do it for their own reasons and that that's their choice to make. As Charlotte Manson said, "It is very important that the child should not be allowed to condemn the conduct of the people about him. Whether he is right or wrong is not the question; the habit of bestowing blame will blunt his conscience." (or hers, obviously!) We have similar conversations when it comes to different words and phrases which some families allow and others don't.

So Halloween won't be happening in our family but I don't want to be stodgy and mean about it. The thought of turning away all those smiling little painted faces made me cringe, so I though of a solution. I made a daggy (but friendly) little sign to hang on our front door. I wanted to politely let people know that we didn't have anything to give for trick or treat, without ruining their night with yet another huffy - 'No, we don't have any lollies to give you!'

Here's my grass roots approach (down below). What do you think? If you were out trick or treating with your kids, would you appreciate signs on doors, indicating whether or not there are lollies inside for enthusiastic trick or treaters, or would you prefer to knock and find out that way? If you're not celebrating Halloween, will you store up lollies for the smiling faces waiting on your front step or not?

As I said above, this isn't a 'let's beat up on people with differing opinions' post - not at all! I just wanted to hear what everyone thinks about it...

Oh, and please vote in my Halloween poll, it would be muchly appreciated :o)

My daggy little Halloween sign:

Halloween kids photo above thanks to www.trishtrashdesign.net

New Kid on the Blog: SquiggleMum

2009-10-27T20:04:00.008+11:00

Today's new kid on the blog is... (drumroll please)...

the very lovely Cath from Squiggle Mum! I enjoy reading Cath's blog regularly. It's one place where I find inspirational parenting stories and advice, without the mother-guilt. It's also refreshing to have a mum putting her ideas out there, confident enough and humble enough to do it beautifully. Cath's ideas and tips are always practical and fun. I absolutely love her site design too - it's a really good looking site! Anyway, enough of my blabbing. Let me introduce you to Cath.

Why do you blog?
I don't think you choose to be a writer. If you are one, you just are. Words choose you. I figured I might as well be doing something productive with all my words so started blogging in November last year!

Please introduce your blog.
I blog at SquiggleMum (http://squigglemum.com) sharing ideas and inspiration for other mums. I write about indoor and outdoor crafts and activities for young kids, literacy, faith and parenting. I also share useful resources like my Tantrum Tracker. My background in primary education comes in very handy when blogging! I'm not a perfect mum (not even close) but I do try to have a positive outlook on parenting, and I hope my readers feel like they're having a conversation with a friend when they're at SquiggleMum.

What is your favourite blog?
Oh so hard to choose only one. My friend Christie (who I haven't actually met in real life... yet) just won Best Parenting Blog at the Nuffnang Awards in Singapore. Her blog Childhood101 is fabulous (http://childhood101.blogspot.com) and packed with information about the early years.

If you had a factory, what would it do?
Dip perfectly ripe strawberries into chocolate for me and remove the stalks. 24-7.

If you could jump into a massive pool or anything, what would you choose?
sparkling bubbly mineral water in the middle of a rainforest. Heavenly. Any chance my choc-strawberry factory could be nearby...?!

************************

I'm with you on that one Cath - rainforest, strawberries, chocolate, it's all sounding way too good to be true! Congratulations to Christie - what an amazing achievement! I'm on my way over to check her site out right now.

If you'd like to be a part of 'Let's Meet the New Kid on the Blog', please email me at joni.leimgruber@gmail.com

Cheers xox

Thanks cranium.com for your quirky question ideas :o)

Squiggle image thanks to http://www.sbevisdesigns.com

Blogging inspiration

2009-10-27T10:56:00.009+11:00

I had the luxury of going to the movies yesterday with my beautiful friend Leanne - DURING THE DAY. Wow. That's pretty decadent hey. The best part of it was what we watched: Meryl Streep in Julie&Julia. It was amazing! I'm not generally a movie drooler. I'll watch a movie once, smile and nod, maybe have a chuckle and generally move on. But not with this movie. Julie&Julia inspired me! Those bubbles of happiness ran through my veins right from the opening scene and are still floating around today. After it finished, I could've turned right around, bought another ticket and sat myself down to watch it all over again - except that I had to get Leanne to the airport, pronto!

This flick made me excited about everything all over again. Blogging, cooking and writing. If you feel like you need a bit of a chuckle and revitalise that flame within you, stroll on over to the nearest cinema and sit back and enjoy. I know, I know. It's just a casual, funny, not very life changing movie. But you never know what will be the next saviour to your senses, fanner of flames, and this movie has so done it for me. Don't laugh, it has!

Julie&Julia is based on two memoirs. One, written by Julia Child (an American cook, famous during the 60's, 70's and 80's) is about her adventures while living in France (entitled My Life in France. Quite original I thought). Julie Powell forms the other half of the equation, an unfulfilled 30 year old who decides to cook her way through Julia Child's famous cook book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking and blog about it as she goes.

Much to my great excitement, Julie still blogs! Find her here.

Let me know if you've already seen it or want to see it. Did you enjoy it too?

Have a lovely day.

Joni xox

Etsy all about Aus

2009-10-26T20:17:00.009+11:00

Something strange happens to me when I go on Etsy. A wave of tingles rolls over my shoulders. My eyes glue themselves to the computer screen and I spend long drawn out moments, wondering whether I'd ever be clever enough to make these trinkets. I always come to the same conclusion - my Visa card would have better luck getting results via PayPal than my well meaning (but poorly executed) crafting skills. Thus said, this week's BlogThis.com.au challenge suits me just perfectly. With my imaginary $200 Etsy shopping voucher in hand, I've traipsed around the store, searching for the perfect little knick knacks to call my own - virtually, of course. And even though I'm sure, in fact I know, that crafters in America, Europe, India... in fact every other country are just as clever as our crafters in Australia, I prefer to shop locally, support the neighbours, so my list is all about the Aussies and made by Aussies. Enjoy :o)

I absolutely love chunky jewellery and this massive delight by Killer Jewels is just lovely. $12 + $4 postage.

How cute is this Hi Deer card by Small Stakes! They have heaps of other gorgeous designs too. $5 + $1 postage.

You too could make this funky little character thanks to the patterns at Twinkle Kids 2. Buy the pattern for only $3.50. Delivery via email.

I saw Julie&Julia (Meryl Streep's latest flick) today and am SO inspired... both to blog and to cook. This apron sums up the movie perfectly. Available at Wonderland Avenue for $28.50 + $2.50 postage.

Isn't he cute! This little fella and his matching bibs can be found at Indigo Elephant for $27.50 + $5.50 postage. Irresistable.

Just for a bit of timeless class, this Domany design 1960's vintage dress is at Retrospace. But not for long - it's just $25 + $7 postage!

This makes my heart flutter every time I see it. The word pendant is hand stamped, hence the gorgeous effect, dripping with character. This, and a myriad of other wonderful creations, is available at Princess Allure. $41 + $4 postage. Take a look - you won't regret it!

I didn't actually spend all my magic $$, there's about $33 remaining.. perhaps I'll keep that handy for a rainy day.

This fun window shopping excursion was inspired by BlogThis Challenge #22. If you feel like it, please pop on over to www.blogthis.com.au to vote :o)

New Kid on the Blog: Kristalee

2009-10-23T15:51:00.008+11:00

How exciting! The first New Kid on the Blog miniview! I blogged my idea yesterday, half expecting to be met by a deafening silence (aka empty inbox) but I was pleasantly surprised to hear from two lovely ladies, Kristalee of Lola Constance Evelyn and Number Chic from Your Number is Up!

Today we're meeting Kristalee (tune in for Number Chic's miniview next Friday). Kristalee's blog, Lola Constance Evelyn, is really something special.

Let me introduce you to Kristalee:

******

Joni: Why do you blog?

Kristalee: I started my blog initially as somewhere to write the birth story of my daughter who was stillborn at 41 weeks gestation. I wrote it on a blog as I thought it was somewhere I could link people to so they can decide yes I want to read it or no I don't, without it being in their face.
As it happened I found that I needed an outlet about the journey I am now on and so it continues as an account of a mother finding her way through the loss of her baby girl.

Joni: Please introduce us to your blog.

Kristalee: It is called 'Lola Constance Evelyn' named after my daughter. I would describe it as 'sometimes happy, sometimes sad and mostly a reminder of how lucky we are to have the little people in our worlds and to appreciate every moment.'

Joni: What is your favourite blog?

Kristalee: My favourite blog is 'Meet Me at Mikes'. The author is so cute as is everything about the blog.

Joni: Do you remember the last dream you had?

Kristalee: No. I have crazy, vivid dreams every night and am amazed at what has happened in my mind while sleeping and then promptly forget within seconds! My husband was talking in his sleep last night quoting the law! He is doing his Detective Training course next week and has been studying hard. He must be having fascinating dreams at the moment!

Joni: What colour is your toothbrush?

Kristalee: I have a green toothbrush at the moment.

******

Thanks Kristalee for sharing your story with us - what a wonderful way to get your feelings out and also to leave a lasting tribute to your beautiful little girl. May the next six months be so much better than the last. xo

PS: I must thank Cath over at Squiggle Mum for inspiring this post with her monthly Real Aussie Mum posts.

PPS: Thanks also to enoma.org for giving me some question ideas :o)

PPS: If you want to be 'gotten to know' shoot me an email or just comment below... enjoy your weekend!

Volunteers, Anyone?

2009-10-22T12:18:00.006+11:00

I've been a really slack blogger lately but let me tell you that there are many and varied reasons why. First, school holidays. That's reason enough all by itself! Secondly, we went away for a week and third, sometimes it's just great to have a break. But I'm back on the www's now and hopefully will have my lovely new site up and running sometime in the next month (or so!)

Knitting is going well. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, my five year old daughter wanted to start knitting so she could make a Trauma Teddy for sick kids. We approached it as a school holiday project but I now see that it's going to take a little longer than that... The current practise piece is very cute but, well, it's a practise piece. Not sure that the Trauma Teddy is going to happen for a while... but maybe we'll make a couple of little gifts for school friends along the way. Will keep you posted.

I've been meaning to say: Welcome to all the new followers! It's always very exciting to have a spurt in followers (even though my spurt means that I now have 16 followers. Instead of five. Everyone say woo hoo for me!) I'd love to start a new weekly activity to celebrate (I'm loving all these great blogging ideas floating around and I want to give a few a go) entitled: Let's Go Meet the New Kid on the Blog. So, the whole aim of the game is that I want to get to know the lovely people who follow my blog (and give their blog a little bit of love) - just like I love getting to know the wonderful bloggers I follow. If you want to be my very first New Kid on the Blog (and all of you would qualify for that!) and you want to answer a few short, snappy and (maybe) strange questions, flick me a quick email or comment below - whatever tickles your fancy. I look forward to hearing from you all! Don't bombard me now. I already have too much fan mail to get through as it is!

PS: I REALLY love the That Vintage earrings being given away on The Red Deer (that's them up above) so this is my little plug. The earrings are gorgous, so go take a peek - you won't regret it!

PPS: I don't really get fan mail. That was a joke. I really do want your emails. Promise! Do I sound desperate? Okay it's getting lame now.

And the winner is...

2009-10-07T13:49:00.004+11:00

Hi all. I'm very excited because I've just received my first ever blog award - One Lovely Blog Award! Thanks so much Mrs P :o)

So, here's how it works: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

My new-found hobby is surfing blogs so the hardest part for me is choosing just 15 from all the beautiful blogs I've discovered!

Here are my absolute faves:

SquiggleMum I'm always inspired by the lovely posts here - and the site artwork is gorgeous :o)

bellaMUMMA The perfect spot catch up on some beauty advice - the pics are always lovely too!

The Rockgarden Awesome, fun, a great read. That says it all!

Sleep deprived and losing it Charmingly honest about the ups and downs of motherhood.

It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho So, so funny! I love the art too :o)

Chic Mummy Chic and yummy - I love it!

Design Is Mine A lovely little blog: just as the name suggests :o)

GodAmongUs Lovely tidbits of Godly inspiration!

The Happy Home Such beautiful home inspiration - this chick's a genious!

Red Boots Gorgeous pics all the way from the UK..

Little Bit Funky Think creative genious/kids, think Little Bit Funky!

Life As A Goff A fun look at life, kids and family.

Domestic Sluttery This blot is so much fun. A cheeky take on domestic godessery.

School Holiday Project #1: The Trauma Teddy

2009-09-30T12:46:00.005+10:00

It's been a little while since my last post... I've been working hard on my beautiful new site, soon to be ready! Take a sneak peak if you like :o) It's pretty and flowery and everything I hoped it would be. I can't wait to get started! Anyway.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the school holidays. Is anybody else? It doesn't seem to be a popular thing to admit, but I've said it. I love school holidays. My lovely little chicken, who's in Kindy this year, can't wait for the holidays to start; she's decided that she wants to learn to knit. Why would a five year old want to knit you might ask? In her words, "Because we need to help the poor people and we haven't helped them for AGES so I want to knit them something so they keep warm." Ohhh! My mummy heart melted right about now. After careful consideration we decided it might be better to knit a Red Cross teddy for sick kids instead - hopefully a little simpler to make than a jumper - and she was more than satisfied with the decision. So off we go this afternoon to BigW to buy some junior knitting needles. Has anyone knitted one of those teddys before? Is it hard? I'm an amateur knitter so I'm not really sure what I'm getting myself into. I do have a feeling that I'll be knitting a lot of it myself though...

My daugher's humanitarian heart has mine melting pretty regularly these days. It seems to have developed this year as she's seen school friends go through difficult times with one friend's parents breaking up and others falling behind in school work. When I think about it, it was the terrible Victorian bushfires that really got her started. We rummaged through the house for things that might help out and donated as much money as we could muster (which, when I counted up the coins, wasn't as much as I would've liked to have been able to give). Since then, she's been dedicated to helping people. One day she announced to her Grandma, "I'm going to try and make my school a better school... I'm going to teach everyone to be kind to eachother by being kind to them." Really? From a five year old? Again. Melting! Her favourite show was Random Acts of Kindness and she often used to say, "I want to be like that," of the people willingly and lovingly helping others. How did this happen? I have no idea. How did she go from a normal, happy but generally self-centred child, to Little Miss Humanitarian?

How beautiful is the innocence of childhood passion. Void of all knowledge of reality and self consciousness that might quench them, children's dreams and hopes seem attainable when they're being babbled about in the car home from school. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to maintain that child-like passion and desire to help?

I'll keep you posted on the progress of our little Red Cross Trauma Teddy. Suggestions more than welcome!

xox

Memories

2009-09-17T14:47:00.005+10:00

25 years ago a pretty little thing hobbled into Lismore Base Hospital and delivered her first baby. A girl. Later that week, on a stifling hot day, she took her new baby home wrapped in layers of pure wool cardigans, bonnets and blankets. She was terrified her little girl would catch a cold. Nine months earlier, she'd set her mind to doing the best darn job at raising and loving her baby that she possibly could and she was living up to her promise.

From that day on, she spent every waking hour tending to the needs of her growing daughter and later on, those of her two sons as well. She loved them all unconditionally and gently nurtured their little personalities. She lived with one goal; to be a good mother.

As time went by, the children grew up, got married and made her a Grandma. In her new role, this pretty little thing passed on her ability to love unconditionally and give selflessly to a new generation of her precious family.

So now, on my 25th birthday, I'd like to make a tribute to my Mum. Thanks for 25 wonderful years and for giving me such a loving, nurturing start to life. Thanks for being a brilliant Grandma to my children and a loving, gracious mother in law (who's coming to terms with the fact that her son in law will always rib her!). xox

If I could change the world...

2009-09-08T11:55:00.010+10:00

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

If I could do anything to change the world, I'd LOVE.

I'm not talking about smoochy, smiley, I-wanna-get-in-your-pants love. I'm talking about this-sux-but-we're-in-it-together-and-I'm-gonna-stick-by-you love. Life's tough - we know that. But sticking together and managing to love each other through the really hard times as well as the good is really what life is about. It's undeniable. We all need to be loved. Love does make the world go round.

On a larger scale, if we were able to accept and love people as a whole and not see each other as enemies, our perceptions and actions would totally change. We'd become more considerate, compassionate and understanding. Poverty... War... Famine... Fraud... Murder... Child abuse... The list goes on and on. These things would be non-existent if we could manage to love.

I'm not going to sit here and say (or type) that this is possible. Of course it isn't! But imagine the difference it would make to the world if we just tried...

That was my entry for the www.BlogThis.com.au Challenge #15 - hope you liked it :o)

backpacks4aussiekids.org.au

2009-09-07T12:31:00.003+10:00

This is just fanastic. backpacks4aussiekids.org is a charity set up to provide foster kids with backpacks full of useful and fun bits and pieces to help with their often unsettled life. These kids so often slip under the radar. I'm so excited to see something constructive and compassionate being done about it!

These are the items most needed right now:

Clothes for sizes 5 and up for boys and girls. Pre loved is welcomed

Underpants (new please) sizes 3 and up, boys and girls

Nappies, from newborn to age 2

Torches

Dummies, for new born up to 3 years

Baby wipes

Here's why they ask for torches:

"Just imagine - You have been taken from your home, possibly out of your bed or under other highly stressful circumstances. You have been taken to a strangers house by police or DOCS workers (strangers to you) and left there, in an unfamiliar environment - on your own.

Now the nice lady they left you with tucks you up in bed, tells you everything will be o.k. and smiles as she turns out the light and closes the door.

How do you feel? It's dark, all the noises and shadows are different but the light switch is too far away and up too high for you to reach. You pull the covers up close and wish that the morning would come . . .

I was afaid of the dark as a kid, and I had a loving home with a happy family. Still the dark, the fear of the unknown was there. What about you?

My hope is to give these kids a little bit of security during the night by providing them with a light source they can control."

How beautiful and caring is that.

If you'd like to be involved, you can help out by donating money or goods. You can make up complete backpacks (there is a list of items need for each pack) or send goods as per the need.

Please do your bit to support this wonderful cause - every little bit helps! Even if you can't give a large donation, how about buying a pack of dummies or wipes everytime you go grocery shopping. Within a month or so you'll have a nice little bundle of things to send off!

DJ AM - a bittersweet story.

2009-09-04T14:18:00.003+10:00

Adam Goldstein (AKA DJ AM pictured here with ex-girlfriend Nicole Richie) is all over headlines this week. This guy had a tough life. He was emotionally abused by his father and was addicted to drugs by the age of 12. Yes, you read it right. 12. By 16 he was addicted to cocaine and ecstasy and with the help of his mum, booked into rehab until he was 18. I don’t know if he was there for all that time, between the ages of 16 and 18 but if he was, that’s a very long time to be in rehab.

By the sounds of it Adam didn’t want to be on drugs and desperately wanted to rid his life of them. “I’d go in the bathroom, break [my pipe] on the toilet and swear to never do it again,” he said in 2005 according to Who. He attempted suicide in 1998 but was saved by a jammed gun. Who reported that Adam was clean for a while but that just days before his passing, he began to spiral downwards and into the waiting arms of narcotics.

One thing I didn’t realise was that he was onboard the fatal September 19 plane crash that took the lives of four people and seriously injured Travis Barker of Blink 182. How anyone could ever recover from this level of trauma I have no idea, let alone someone who had already travelled along such a difficult path. My saving thought is the kind and gentle mercy of God. There’s just no way that physiologists and therapists and certainly not drugs could have ever helped him see a full recovery.

I feel really sad for Adam and his family. For his family - what a sad, sad way to lose someone you love so dearly. For Adam, it’s such a tragedy that his love/hate affair with drugs plagued him right to the end. I would love to be able to believe that we all work out our demons before we die, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

On the brighter side, his friends are apparently taking comfort in the fact that he spent his last few days mixing which was undoubtedly his passion. That’s certainly a wonderful thing. To be able to find your passion, become really good and it and make a life out of it is something that many are unable to ever do. For this, I’m so happy for the guy. He knew what he wanted to do and he went out and did it.

2009-09-02T14:39:00.003+10:00

I've just discovered the awesome blogthis.com.au! Hop on over and check it out if you have a blog - it's a great way to find some pretty swanky blogs and every week they send out a blog challenge... can't wait to get my first one this week!

Anyway. One of the great-for-a-chuckle blogs I've discovered (thanks to bt) is It's Impossible To Be Unhappy In A Poncho where I discovered (it's a discovering day today!) these cool pass-it-on questions. They came from Frills In The Hills originally.

So here goes my turn - let me know if you carry it on to your blog and I'll come take a peek :o)

How did you come up with the name of your blog? Um I don't actually like it but can't think of anything better yet (suggestions welcome!!). I chose it because I write profile articles (I dabble in freelance writing) and I was going to do a lot of those on the blog. It proved very difficult to find enough people to profile on a daily basis! Hence, time for a name change.

What was the first blog you followed? The blog of my wonderfully creative cuz Nomad Mother where she writes about passionfruit with faces and harvesting winter spuds.

What's the latest blog you followed? The Red Deer I voted for strawberry cupcakes - yum!

What blog do you follow that surprises you doesn't have more followers? Um - I don't usually notice how many followers on each blog. Next.

The blog you adore the style of? That prize has to go to Squiggle Mum - she has such a pretty, creative site with a smattering of Aussie pride thrown in. I could look at it for hours!

The blog you visit first thing in the morning? Mamamia. Definitely. I'm a dedicated MMer. Have you read her new book? I love that too!

The blog you go to for a laugh? Today? It's Impossible To Be Unhappy In A Poncho.
I laughed and laughed this morning!

The blog you go to live vicariously or get inspiration from and why? Meet Me At Mikes. They have the most gorgeous home made ideas and the photos are always so lucious. Although I'm not nearly clever enough to try ANY of their ideas!

Which blog did you get this from? It's Impossible To Be Unhappy In A Poncho :o)

Here are the q's for you to paste into your blog if you so wish:

How did you come up with the name of your blog?
What was the first blog you followed?
What's the latest blog you followed?
What blog do you follow that surprises you doesn't have more followers?
The blog you adore the style of?
The blog you visit first thing in the morning?
The blog you go to for a laugh?
The blog you go to live vicariously or get inspiration from and why?
Which blog did you get this from?

Phew! That took much longer than expected. Must get off couch and tend to child calling, "Mum! Poo!" from the bedroom.

What Do You Think Wednesday?

2009-09-02T11:25:00.002+10:00

I found this today and thought it was pretty cool - still not exactly sure what message they're sending... what do you think it means?

The Debate Continues...

2009-08-31T12:46:00.004+10:00

The debate about male circumcision is in the media - yet again. Around 10 per cent of baby boys are circumcised in Australia with many families making their decision based on health or religious reasons. Many don't circumcise any of their sons, likewise, often because of health or religious reasons. Some parents find themselves having to circumcise their older sons due to harmful patterns of urine retract infections. People come from all corners in the male circumcision debate.

Paul Mason, the Tasmanian children's commissioner, wants to outlaw infant male circumcision and take away yet another decision from parents who, from where I'm standing, have the ability to make well-informed decisions according to their family's beliefs and health. Yesterday's Sun Herald reported that Mr Mason is unhappy with the fact that even though the law protect girls from female circumcision, parents are free to "go around willy-nilly chopping up bits of their sons."

Many believe that there are no medical reasons for or against male circumcision (although I have heard reports siting scientific proof that the wife of an uncircumcised husband is at greater risk of cervical cancer). The way I see it is this. If there's no proven reason why we should circumcise our sons and there's no proven reason why we shouldn't circumcise them (the law currently states that male circumcision does not constitute unlawful wounding, ill treatment or child abuse) then why should parents not be left with the right to choose?

As parents, we've had countless choices taken away from us and many more on the way. If we follow along the path of many other countries, including New Zealand, smacking our own children will become a punishable offence, taking away yet another personal decision, which is for parents only to make.

If this country is a democracy, it's doing a great job of pretending not to be. We shouldn't have to shroud the fact that we did or did not circumcise our sons with secrecy. There should be no shame surrounding each family's approach to discipline (obviously as long the children aren't being abused).

Each of us are individuals, therefore we parent differently. Here's a thought; what about if the extremists stopped crying wolf about the private, personal decisions we're each 'allowed' to make. I hate using the word discrimate but it's pretty applicable here. How fantastic if they stopped discriminating against those who make their own choices and have healthy, happy families for doing so.

I think our government has let the fight for a 'happy' life go too far. We've got to stop taking the right to make decisions based on personal preference away from people. Otherwise, where will it stop?

What if we translated pain as opportunity?

2009-08-30T15:54:00.002+10:00

Laura Munson's response to confusion surrounding her decision to let her husband have some space and 'duck and weave' until things settled down (as blogged yesterday, August 30, 2009).

August 28, 2009

Today, I’d like to offer this:A Different Response to Crises:We’ve been trained in our society to respond to crises with state-of-emergency moxie. To immediately react. To meet fire with fire. Or to run away.

When we’re meeting fire with fire, we’re in control mode. When we’re running away, we’re in sedation mode. I’ve done all of the above. And after many years living in these modes, I decided I was sick of it. I was suffering and I decided to get really clear with myself about where the suffering was in my life. It took awhile. But I trained my senses and began to live with a commitment to ending my suffering. I’m not always good at it. But when it works, it’s such a powerful way to live. There’s so much relief there.

I got to practice this in spades the summer my husband went through his marital dis-affection. I like that word, “dis-affection.” It’s easier not to take personally. It’s easier to process and to land in a place of non-suffering.

I want to be perfectly clear about something that keeps coming up in the comments on my blog, other people’s blogs, the comments in the “New York Times” and the many that have come into my email box:
If my marriage had ended after that rough season…I would still have considered that season a personal success. The reason why it was such a powerful time for me, and the reason why I’ve written about it, has everything to do with what it was like, especially in such a hard time, to live and not suffer. To not translate crises into state-of-emergency. To not control and sedate. To simply, deliberately, day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath…detach from outcome. This was my journey. It was one of the soul.

That’s my message, and why I am willing to share my personal story. While I wrote about this way of living in the context of marriage, it’s not really about marriage or my husband or my family. Of course, if my being responsible for my own well-being rubbed off on them somehow, then that only makes it more of a success story.

Many people have made the assumption that I practiced living like that “to save my marriage.” That is not the case. I lived like that because it was my commitment to live outside suffering. If my marriage was “saved,” then I can only see that as a possible bi-product, but still not one that is necessary to try to prove or define.
There is so much pain in the world. All of us feel pain every day. Sometimes many many times a day. What if we started to translate pain as opportunity? Opportunity to practice not suffering. Where would that have us land? Who would we be then? Would we be victims? Would we be somehow…dare I say it: free?

Thank you for reading. Yrs. Laura

Marriage Meltdown vs Waiting Wife

2009-08-30T15:29:00.007+10:00

It's not very often that an article in the Sunday paper makes me stop in my tracks and alters something deep inside. Laura Munson's article in today's Sun Herald did that for me and I wanted to share it with you.

For all those married (or for that matter, unmarried) people out there - this is such an interesting and empowering take on marital woes. For once, we're not being told to stand our ground, lay blame in our spouse's lap and get the hell out of there before our hearts are broken or irrepairably damaged. Laura Munson obviously places a lot of value on the relationship she has with her husband and, as a young wife, her story is an inspiration to me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

PS. If you feel like it, drop into Laura's site http://lauramunson.wordpress.com/ and let her know what you think - everyone needs feedback every now and then!

Boxing Clever/Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear
By LAURA A. MUNSON
Published: August 30, 2009 Sun Herald/July 31, 2009 NY Times

LET’S say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. The dreams you set out to achieve in your 20s — gazing into each other’s eyes in candlelit city bistros when you were single and skinny — have for the most part come true.

Two decades later you have the 20 acres of land, the farmhouse, the children, the dogs and horses. You’re the parents you said you would be, full of love and guidance. You’ve done it all: Disneyland, camping, Hawaii, Mexico, city living, stargazing.

Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”

But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore” and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result.

Here’s a visual: Child throws a temper tantrum. Tries to hit his mother. But the mother doesn’t hit back, lecture or punish. Instead, she ducks. Then she tries to go about her business as if the tantrum isn’t happening. She doesn’t “reward” the tantrum. She simply doesn’t take the tantrum personally because, after all, it’s not about her.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying my husband was throwing a child’s tantrum. No. He was in the grip of something else — a profound and far more troubling meltdown that comes not in childhood but in midlife, when we perceive that our personal trajectory is no longer arcing reliably upward as it once did. But I decided to respond the same way I’d responded to my children’s tantrums. And I kept responding to it that way. For four months.

“I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did.”

His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, “I don’t buy it.” Because I didn’t.

He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.

So he turned mean. “I don’t like what you’ve become.”

Gut-wrenching pause. How could he say such a thing? That’s when I really wanted to fight. To rage. To cry. But I didn’t.

Instead, a shroud of calm enveloped me, and I repeated those words: “I don’t buy it.”

You see, I’d recently committed to a non-negotiable understanding with myself. I’d committed to “The End of Suffering.” I’d finally managed to exile the voices in my head that told me my personal happiness was only as good as my outward success, rooted in things that were often outside my control. I’d seen the insanity of that equation and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. And I mean all of it.

My husband hadn’t yet come to this understanding with himself. He had enjoyed many years of hard work, and its rewards had supported our family of four all along. But his new endeavor hadn’t been going so well, and his ability to be the breadwinner was in rapid decline. He’d been miserable about this, felt useless, was losing himself emotionally and letting himself go physically. And now he wanted out of our marriage; to be done with our family.

But I wasn’t buying it.

I said: “It’s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents’ happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who’ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy. There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break. What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?” he said.

“Go trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you’ve always wanted. Anything but hurting the children and me with a reckless move like the one you’re talking about.”

Then I repeated my line, “What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

“Huh?”

“How can we have a responsible distance?”

“I don’t want distance,” he said. “I want to move out.”

My mind raced. Was it another woman? Drugs? Unconscionable secrets? But I stopped myself. I would not suffer.

Instead, I went to my desk, Googled “responsible separation” and came up with a list. It included things like: Who’s allowed to use what credit cards? Who are the children allowed to see you with in town? Who’s allowed keys to what?

I looked through the list and passed it on to him.

His response: “Keys? We don’t even have keys to our house.”

I remained stoic. I could see pain in his eyes. Pain I recognized.

“Oh, I see what you’re doing,” he said. “You’re going to make me go into therapy. You’re not going to let me move out. You’re going to use the kids against me.”

“I never said that. I just asked: What can we do to give you the distance you need ... ”

“Stop saying that!”

Well, he didn’t move out.

Instead, he spent the summer being unreliable. He stopped coming home at his usual six o’clock. He would stay out late and not call. He blew off our entire Fourth of July — the parade, the barbecue, the fireworks — to go to someone else’s party. When he was at home, he was distant. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He didn’t even wish me “Happy Birthday.”

But I didn’t play into it. I walked my line. I told the kids: “Daddy’s having a hard time as adults often do. But we’re a family, no matter what.” I was not going to suffer. And neither were they.

My trusted friends were irate on my behalf. “How can you just stand by and accept this behavior? Kick him out! Get a lawyer!”

I walked my line with them, too. This man was hurting, yet his problem wasn’t mine to solve. In fact, I needed to get out of his way so he could solve it.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m a pushover. I’m weak and scared and would put up with anything to keep the family together. I’m probably one of those women who would endure physical abuse. But I can assure you, I’m not. I load 1,500-pound horses into trailers and gallop through the high country of Montana all summer. I went through Pitocin-induced natural childbirth. And a Caesarean section without follow-up drugs. I am handy with a chain saw.

I simply had come to understand that I was not at the root of my husband’s problem. He was. If he could turn his problem into a marital fight, he could make it about us. I needed to get out of the way so that wouldn’t happen.

Privately, I decided to give him time. Six months.

I had good days, and I had bad days. On the good days, I took the high road. I ignored his lashing out, his merciless jabs. On bad days, I would fester in the August sun while the kids ran through sprinklers, raging at him in my mind. But I never wavered. Although it may sound ridiculous to say “Don’t take it personally” when your husband tells you he no longer loves you, sometimes that’s exactly what you have to do.

Instead of issuing ultimatums, yelling, crying or begging, I presented him with options. I created a summer of fun for our family and welcomed him to share in it, or not — it was up to him. If he chose not to come along, we would miss him, but we would be just fine, thank you very much. And we were.

And, yeah, you can bet I wanted to sit him down and persuade him to stay. To love me. To fight for what we’ve created. You can bet I wanted to.

But I didn’t.

I barbecued. Made lemonade. Set the table for four. Loved him from afar.

And one day, there he was, home from work early, mowing the lawn. A man doesn’t mow his lawn if he’s going to leave it. Not this man. Then he fixed a door that had been broken for eight years. He made a comment about our front porch needing paint. Our front porch. He mentioned needing wood for next winter. The future. Little by little, he started talking about the future.

It was Thanksgiving dinner that sealed it. My husband bowed his head humbly and said, “I’m thankful for my family.”

He was back.

And I saw what had been missing: pride. He’d lost pride in himself. Maybe that’s what happens when our egos take a hit in midlife and we realize we’re not as young and golden anymore.

When life’s knocked us around. And our childhood myths reveal themselves to be just that. The truth feels like the biggest sucker-punch of them all: it’s not a spouse or land or a job or money that brings us happiness. Those achievements, those relationships, can enhance our happiness, yes, but happiness has to start from within. Relying on any other equation can be lethal.

My husband had become lost in the myth. But he found his way out. We’ve since had the hard conversations. In fact, he encouraged me to write about our ordeal. To help other couples who arrive at this juncture in life. People who feel scared and stuck. Who believe their temporary feelings are permanent. Who see an easy out, and think they can escape.

My husband tried to strike a deal. Blame me for his pain. Unload his feelings of personal disgrace onto me.

But I ducked. And I waited. And it worked.

10 Things I Love About Having A Son

2009-08-28T14:35:00.004+10:00

1. The fact that he forgot how to walk about two hours after learning and hasn't stopped running since.

2. He's more likely to find another way around a problem than have to use his manners and ask for help.

3. I might not get many hugs from him during the day but at bedtime, there are no warmer, more heartfelt hugs to be had.

4. Having a sore hand or foot shoved in my face for a kiss-better and seeing his cries of pain subside almost immediately when he's received his quota of kisses and sympathy.

5. The smell of dirty hands that have been digging in the dirt and the fine spray of dust that seems to settle on his scalp quicker than I can keep him bathed.

6. The curve in the nape of his neck after a fresh haircut.

7. His big, round tummy that never seems to be satisfied.

8. The looks of glee he wears as I serve his dinner. Never before have I felt like such a great cook!

9. Watching him clopping around in dress-up heels and carrying pretty pink handbags, knowing that oneday he'll be a big tough man and deny he ever did that.

10. I've got this to look forward to! (click to watch the clip below)

I can't get the embed to work so the link will have to do for now :o)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQgy5p4WrDU

Refrigerator Mothers?

2009-08-26T11:57:00.004+10:00

I've been thinking about mother-guilt a lot lately and it's had a lot of coverage in the media. With organic baby food ranges claiming to give children a better start to life and constant scientific studies pointing out exactly what we're doing wrong with our children, it's easy to see why these days, us mums (and sometimes dads) struggle to have confidence in our child rearing abilities.

I have a theory about mother-guilt - I don't think we're alone. Throughout the centuries, I think it's always ridden on the backs of mothers, with every maternal generation having some area where they feel they're just not doing enough.

I'd never heard the term 'Refrigerator mother' until today, but apparently it was used in the 50's, 60's and 70's to describe mothers who's children had been diagnosed with autism or schizophrenia. The occurance of these illnesses in children was blamed on their mothers who were assumed to be emotionally cold and hard, thus coining the slogan, 'Refrigerator mother'. The amount of guilt and shame heaped on these mothers would have been unsurmountable.

Having said this, is mother-guilt heaped on us by society or do we heap it on ourselves? Are we tough on ourselves as mothers because we have low opinions of ourselves or is it entrenched in every mother, no matter what her level of confidence?

I love reading profiles and interviews of successful people. People who have achieved their dreams and then some. These people are often highly motivated and always busy. One common thread that has me intrigued though, are the personal battles these people often endure, their entire life. They often admit to having low self esteem and or anxiety problems and many of these people attribute their success to the driving powers of their weaknesses.

Perhaps mother-guilt isn't something we should try and eradicate from our lives, rather something we can harness the power of and use to our advantage. I'm not saying that being eaten up by guilt is helpful and I certainly don't want to live my life that way but what if, instead of fighting our need to perfect the art of motherhood, we used it for our own advantage by harnessing its power and going with the flow?

Jane McGrath - A Tribute

2009-06-22T06:02:00.004+10:00

I vividly remember the day I came to really respect Jane McGrath. It was 18 months ago. I was watching Andrew Denton's Enough Rope interview with Australian cricketing great (and husband to Jane), Glenn McGrath. The interview was supposed to centre around Glenn and his cricketing career. Jane was fantastic though and the interview really ended up being about her and the McGrath Foundation.

The shock was tangible when Andrew said something like; "So has all the cancer gone, Jane?" and she replied, "No," and proceeded to point to all the places the cancer had recently appeared.

Even after seeing her admit that the cancer was still very much a part of her life, I never imagined that it would take it from her.

Six months later, I felt the most grief I've ever felt for a celebrity tragedy, when Jane passed away. The whole country seemed to be reeling - she had left a huge impression.

12 months later her charity, The McGrath Foundation, has placed 45 breast cancer nurses around the country with many more to come. Jane's journey also bought the dangerous cancer to the attention of Australia's young women who were previously assumed immune.

Jane's line rings more true now than ever; "Together, we can make a difference!"

Amazing Listening

2009-06-21T12:24:00.001+10:00

A beautiful song - perfect listening for a lovely Sunday afternoon.

Therese Reins In The Critics

2009-06-19T09:25:00.006+10:00

Whether she underwent a mini makeover because she's about to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and needed to be fit, was self conscious about a UK Vogue photo shoot with Michelle Obama or if, like the rest of us sometimes do, just wanted a change, most of Australia agrees that Therese Rein is looking fantastic.

After losing a reported 23kg and giving her wardrobe a slick, new makeover, the first lady is shining. And everyone has noticed.

While I'm not a fan of Labour or Kevin Rudd, I've always had a lot of respect for Therese. A highly successful businesswoman, she's managed to maintain her status as respected figure in the business world, while supporting her husband as he fills the role of Prime Minister. She does what many of us aspire to - balances being a mum, wife and successful career woman. And it looks like she's doing a damn fine job of all three.

While tabloids criticised her high levels of wealth 'at times like these', I was inspired by her. Perhaps her outlook on life and business will positively effect Labour's seemingly inbuilt sense of always fighting for the underdog - no matter what the fight may be.

These are some of my favourite photos of Therese, taken both before and after her famous makeover.

Looking gorgeous as a member of the First Wives Club...

Relaxed and happy in everyday gear...

I love this photo because you can really see the mother in her.

Everyone loves a happy snap...

Great Read for Parents of Teens

2009-06-19T06:18:00.004+10:00

Posse by Kate Welshman
Random House Australia/ISBN: 9781741663358/RRP $18.95

pos⋅se [pos-ee] noun A body or force armed with legal authority. slang A group of friends or associates.

Aptly named, Kate Welshman’s debut novel, Posse, is the story of a group of teenage girls discovering their power and the responsibility it brings.

Well written, Posse is at times too sexually alluring when inappropriate but shockingly candid about the all too real problem of child molestation.

Amy is a popular hockey-player who is a lesbian in a strict upper-class Sydney Methodist girl’s school. Her ‘posse’ of friends look to her for guidance but when jealousy breaks out between Amy and Clare (the beautiful one of the group), things start to get nasty. Clare embarrasses Amy by constantly chiding her about her sexuality and in an act of revenge, Amy finds herself in a frightening situation that changes the course of her, and her friends, school careers and possibly lives.

Due to its brutal honesty, Posse may be helpful for teenagers who are confused about their place in their family, their personal sexuality or any sexually abusive situations they may have found themselves in.

The book lacks the clichéd self-pity often assumed to run alongside this kind of situation and portrays its characters as normal, adventurous and sometimes unwise teenagers who at the end of the day, just want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.

Even though Posse was intended for teenagers, adults might also enjoy the experience of reading it and gain an insight into the complicated world that teenagers live in.

As featured in The Hawkesbury Gazette, 19 June 2009

Dead People In Newspapers?

2009-06-17T08:05:00.003+10:00

I was astonished yesterday, to see the dead body of Desmond Moran sprawled for all the world to see in The Daily Telegraph. Almost hidden from the waist up, puddles of blood are still visible, as Mr Moran lyes helpless, waiting to be rescued from the spotlight of the world.

Am I missing something? Since when has it been okay to publish photos of dead people in the daily newspaper? Why has The Daily Telegraph decided for themselves that Mr Moran's friends and family needn't be considered when choosing to publish a photo of their deceased loved one? Whether or not someone has led a criminal life, surely they're still entitled to the basic rights of privacy and respect after they've died?

To see a deceased person after the event in such a personal, vulnerable state is something that should reserved for close friends and family, not spread across the pages of national newspapers. I felt like an imposter, gasing on the dead body of someone I never knew nor cared much about.

Aside from the exploited rights of Mr Moran and his loved ones, what effect would viewing this photo have on a child? They could potentially be seeing their first 'dead person', possibly before they're ready, because The Daily Telegraph decided it was okay to put the image out there.

Has the power of the media become such that they're immune to abiding by laws and moral standards? Sure, The Daily Telegraph MIGHT apologise, as they did after publishing those infamous photos of 'Pauline Hanson', when it's too late to do anything and the photo/s are already out there for everyone to see, the damage already done.

As a regular reader and subscriber of The Daily Telegraph (and therefore smack bang in the middle of their target audience) I want to make it clear that I certainly don't want to be seeing anymore dead bodies, photos with unconfirmed origin or identity or stories with dubious motives when reading the morning paper. This isn't about 'freedom of press' it's about papers printing anything that will get them ahead of competitiors, with the latest 'exclusive' story or photo, whether it should be published or not.

My message to The Daily Telegraph; If you really aim to be publishing what your readers want to read, perhaps you should find out whether the general public is impressed by the recent publicity stunts we've had to endure.

Vogue Editors Make a Stand

2009-06-15T05:58:00.006+10:00

Two of Vogue magazine's leading ladies have hit out, becoming the latest big names in the war against overly skinny models. Actually, no. It's not a war against skinny models, it's against the culture that pressures otherwise larger figured girls into being unhealthy and skinny for the sake of preserving their careers.

UK and Australian Vogue editors, Alexandra Shulman and Kirstie Clements, both expressed their frustration with designers who send "dolls clothes" sized garments to fashion shoots, forcing the magazine to hire models with "jutting bones and no breasts or hips". Apparently, Vogue employees are tired of editing their fashion shoot photos to make models look bigger and healthier.

How ironic. With fashion magazines inspiring the western world's wardrobe choices and diet obsession and Vogue being one of the world's highest selling fashion magazines, there lands a certain amount of responsibility in Vogue's lap for leading trends encouraging women to be dangerously thin.

The world jolted to attention when two modelling sisters, Luisel Ramos 22 and Eliana Ramos 18, both died of malnutrition. Since then, fashion magazines and catwalk shows have slowly been changing the way we look at our weight.

Who exactly is it that catwalk designers and fashion magazines are trying to impress? Is it women? Let see. Designers who design for unhealthy, overly 'skinny' models, design clothes that don't flatter the female figure, infact they make it look ludicrous - a laughing stock. If we want to fit into these clothes we're told, "You need to lose weight and here's how; don't eat too much and exercise a lot. Sounds tough but if you want it bad enough and if you have enough self discipline you'll get there (and don't complain if you don't!)", not to mention that you'll be tired, irritable, lethargic and generally lose your zest for life. Also, the fact that over 143,000 facebook users have joined the group 'Curves Are Hotter' tells me that generally, the public don't enjoy being told they need to be unhealthy and overly skinny.

BUT .. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about the gorgeous girls who don't need to worry about their weight and are blessed with a fast metabolism and lovely, long slender legs. These naturally slender women are, as I said, absolutely beautiful. But there's something that comes with a woman who is desperate to lose weight and isn't satisfied with herself and is willing to go to death's door in search of the 'perfect' weight. That's what most of the world finds unattractive and a turn-off.

Fashion shows in Madrid and Milan have both banned overly thin models from their catwalks and a model was controversially dismissed from participating in the Australian Fashion Show last year because she was 'too thin' (although it remains to be known whether her low weight level was due to her natural physique or extreme dieting). Perhaps more of this kind of cut throat action will postpone the inevitable return to unhealthy, skinny models - for a while at least.

Is Gen Y a Dud?

2009-06-11T22:42:00.005+10:00

“They’re not all yours are they?”

The first six words the real estate agent bumbles out, referring to my children, as she arrives for a home inspection, 45 minutes late. No, not an inspection of my home, an inspection of a home she’s trying to sell to me. Great start love.

Then there’s the classic phone salesman disaster;

“Hello there – is Mummy home?” the all too plastic voice rasps over the phone.

“She is here,” I say. “You’re speaking to her.”

By the way, don’t bother, pal. You’ve lost the sale, I’m tempted to sneer back.

I’m young. There’s no point denying it. I’m lumped in with the already infamous Gen Y-er’s and have a phone voice that de-ages me another 10-15 years (depending on the perceptiveness of whoever’s on the other end).

Is being young a disadvantage? It certainly comes across that way. In the professional world, I’d say yes. I was once greeted by a well meaning person saying, “Oh, you’re a Gen Y-er. Don’t worry, we’ll work something out.”

Let’s hear it for the Gen Y-ers. Is the berating we attract normal for any up-and-coming generation, or are we especially inept?

There’s certainly no shortage of talent emerging from Generation Y. Tania Major, Young Australian of the Year 2007, has had a profound influence on debates regarding aboriginal culture and society. Roger Federer, arguably the best tennis player the world has ever seen, is also a member of Generation Y. The list goes on and includes Lleyton Hewitt (Former World number one tennis player) and Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook).

We do have our fair share of duds. Paris Hilton generally tops that list.

Honestly. Generation Y has already achieved great things, and we’ve made our imprint on society at large. We’ve changed the face of communication (no pun intended), with social networking becoming a whole new way of life and we’re in the process of proving that we can and will ride out these difficult times and come out better for it.

On the surface we may appear shallow, selfish and spoilt. Really, what generation doesn’t look that way during their teens and early 20’s? It certainly won’t help the maturing process if our colleagues expect the worst from us, simply because we’re a part of Generation Y.

How silly. To lump a whole section of society into a category because of the year they were born in and to make assumptions on that premise. That seems a little shallow to me.

Post Origin Day

2009-06-03T10:02:00.004+10:00

I've never understood the mania surround Origin Night. It's practially observed as National Day of Sitting Around With Mates, Drinking VB, Screaming Intermittently at the Television and Chucking a Sicky Tomorrow.

What really baffles me is how seriously fans are about keeping that night clear. I've heard of husbands practically begging their pregnant wives not to go into labour on Origin Night and of fiances complaining that their chosen wedding reception venue is only available on Origin Night but that he won't budge. Apparently nothing comes before Origin Night.

Perhaps, instead of celebrating the Queen's birthday (which precious few actually celebrate) with a public holiday, why not call it Post Origin Day - a day of recovery. And for all those Origin widowed women who, unlike some equally enthusiastic footy fans, may Post Origin Day be a day when women take the credit card, leave the kids at home (with sore-headed husbands) and shop to their heart's content. All's fair in love and war.

Heartless Evictions No More

2009-06-01T14:23:00.005+10:00

Renters will now enjoy a 'rent holiday' and a rent-free month if their home is repossessed due to their landlord's failure to pay the mortgage.

This takes a load off the shoulders of renters all around the country who are only too aware of current the precarious nature of accommodation.

While it was once seen as a safe option, the reality now facing tenants is that by renting, you double the risk of being turfed out. If you can't pay your rent, you're out. If your landlord can't afford to pay the mortage, you're out - and this happens more often than we'd like to think.

The risk is still there but a little of the pressure has been relieved, for now.

Would You Go On A Date With Lady Gaga?

2009-06-01T06:09:00.010+10:00

I absolutely love Mia Freedman's writing - I'd love to be able to write like that! She wrote this hilarious (abbreviated) account of early relationship angst in yesterday's Sun Herald;

I love you, now change. Your clothes. Ever had a relationship like that?

Years ago, I worked with a girl I’ll call Jane. Jane had been dating this new guy for about a month and everything about him was delightful. He was good-looking, kind, funny, employed. Not too much visible baggage. Better still, he ‘got’ her. Obviously then, there had to be a problem.

You see, Jane’s new boyfriend liked to tuck his shirts and t-shirts into his pants. All the time. Everything tucked. In fact, we immediately christened him Tucker behind his back and to this day I can’t recall his actual name.

As co-workers, we were nothing if not helpful, offering endless suggestions to Jane. My angle was positive re-inforcement. “Compliment him every time he’s un-tucked” I suggested. Except he never was. Finally, someone came up with a decent idea. “Buy him some clothes that can’t be tucked in. Like shortish t-shirts. And jumpers. He’ll think you’re giving him a gift and the gift for you will be a visual one every time you see him. It’s win-win.” And so that’s what Jane did. And Tucker wore his new tops untucked. And she praised him. And they still broke up a year later but not because of the tucking.

Dating Lady Gaga would be difficult. On so many levels. This is the American recording artist whose signature look is to wear no pants. Not in a Britney and her ladygarden way, more of a Solid Gold Dancer way (Solid Gold was an 80s TV show, kids – ask your parents about it).
On a normal day, Lady Gaga wears shiny leotards with flesh-coloured tights, ridiculous shoes and a long platinum wig. This is not even her onstage look, not even a costume. This is just how she hangs out.

In a radio interview last week with Merrick and Rosso, they commented on how she always makes a supreme effort with her clothes and never seems to let herself go.

“No, I never do” she agreed earnestly. “It can be a problem when I’m dating because a guy will say to me ‘Let’s go out to dinner and will you just wear something low key so we don’t get all that attention’ And you know what? I’m really offended by that. I’m not going to change who I am just so you can have a quiet dinner.” I wonder if Lady Gaga goes on many dates?

Check out Mia Freedman's full article.

I'm Watching You..

2009-05-29T06:12:00.001+10:00

This morning my five year old daughter looked at me accusingly and asked, “Mum, have you guys been cutting my dress?”

Not sure where this was going I replied, “No – why do you ask?”

“Because my dress is getting shorter and shorter!”

How Ironic!

2009-05-27T06:02:00.005+10:00

This news piece gave me a chuckle, hopefully it will do the same for you.

Environmental activists Raoul Surcouf and Richard Spink set sail from Bristol, England, in May on a 40-foot boat outfitted with solar panels and a wind turbine to attempt the first carbon-neutral crossing of Greenland's polar ice cap (a journey being monitored eagerly online in Bristol by 25,000 schoolchildren). However, 400 miles off the coast of Ireland, hurricane-force winds destroyed the boat, and the crew was lucky to be rescued by a nearby ship, which was a tanker carrying 680,000 barrels of crude oil.

Image courtesy of www.Richard-Seaman.com

[The Guardian (London), 5-6-09]

Savvy and Successful - Viktoria Darabi

2009-05-25T06:04:00.004+10:00

Viktoria Darabi always has plans brewing for the next Hawkesbury tourism event or advancement for Renaissance Rocking Horses. Finally, she has put to use her many years of marketing and publicity experience and has founded her own business, allowing her to do what she loves – help people and their businesses.

Savvy and Successful, Viktoria’s new business provides a coaching service offering business and marketing advice to businesses owners.

The new business venture is something Viktoria has had ‘brewing’ for a long time. “It’s probably something I should have done sooner, but with a young family and growing a business, I didn’t have the wherewith all or time to think it through completely and put the wheels in motion.” But when Viktoria became a mentor and speaker for the Young Entrepreneur’s Stepping-Up Program she realised she had everything she needed to start the business.

Viktoria’s favourite part of the job? Working with young people. “I love their bravery, passion for what they are doing and of course the delicious potential that they represent.”

Despite her high-achieving lifestyle, Viktoria is under no illusion about the fact that, underneath it all, she is just a normal, busy mum and admits that her daily motivation is quite simple; “Getting the children ready for school is what makes me get up every morning.”

Overcoming the Odds - Rachel Warner

2009-05-21T13:37:00.004+10:00

It's that time of year again and the Cancer Council is holding their annual Australia's Biggest Morning Tea rally. To commemorate the difficult and often heartbreaking struggles many face due to cancer I decided to share the story of Rachel Warner who has had a tough few years but has come through it with a refreshingly honest and insightful take on life.

At 27, Rachel was thrown into a storm of uncertainty, tests and surgery after a grim discovery was made just after giving birth to her second son.

“I’d been told that it’s quite common for adults to have nodules on the thyroid,” Rachel explained, “but I wasn’t prepared when the specialist rang me and said, ‘Hi Rachel. It’s got to come out.’”

Rachel was prescribed surgery (total removal of the Thyroid) and Radioactive Iodine Treatment and was booked into hospital almost immediately.
At the time of the surgery Rachel was still breastfeeding Campbell and the operation required a four day hospital stay. Rachel’s husband, Justin, spent those days by her bed, there with Campbell, so she could still breastfeed.

The Radioactive Iodine Treatment (RIT) was much more complicated than the surgery but fortunately it was able to be postponed until after Campbell turned one and had been weened.

“I had the RIT in an isolation room at the hospital and no one was allowed in and I wasn’t allowed out of the room for 24 hours,” Rachel said. “It was a very lonely experience.”

“Even after going home I spent ten days alone in my room, not allowed to kiss or hug anyone (especially my boys). It was a frustrating and went very slowly but we had a lot of family and friends from church who brought us meals and we knew we weren’t alone.”

Rachel and Justin explained everything to their eldest son Jake, who was three at the time. He understood that he needed to stay away from his mummy so that the medicine in her body didn’t make him sick but it was tough on baby Campbell who was too young to understand why his mum couldn’t hug him.

There are two types of Thyroid cancer which are fatal. Fortunately, the type Rachel suffered with was curable. “Surprisingly, there wasn’t a time when I thought I wasn’t going to make it,” Rachel reminisces. “It did get hard though. I just wanted to enjoy my new baby but had this hanging over me for the first 15 months of his life.”

Even though life has changed forever for Rachel, she’s confident about the future. “Whether the cancer returns or I’m faced with more mountains to climb, I know I can do it,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever go through something I can’t come out of stronger.”

Rachel is now fully recovered from the cancer but will undergo tests every six months and requires medication everyday for the rest of her life. She still has trouble with low calcium levels and is working with specialists to find a solution.

Mr or Mrs Mum?

2009-05-20T06:11:00.008+10:00

Whether to have a full-time career or stay home with the children is a decision women are able to make these days. Women are continually celebrating the fact that during the last few decades portrayal of our role has changed, giving us the freedom to choose whether we work, stay home or both. Though liberating this choice can cause confusion, frustration and sometimes even anguish, especially when the question of childcare is raised.

I spoke to two of my beautiful friends who've both carved a life for themselves in which they're able to be doing exactly what they want with their lives. Leanne is a full-time accountant and Susan is a full-time at home mum. They've both explained how they make their lifestyle choices work, why they chose the life they have and what makes it work and sometimes difficult.

Full-time accountant - Leanne

“We decided that Hayden would be the main care giver mainly for economic reasons. I always thought I’d be a stay at home mum, because that’s how I grew up. However, that changed once I started working.

“It works well for us; the kids get real hands-on time with Hayden, which they love and having more money isn’t everything but it certainly gives us more options. I love it too because I come home to cooked meals and clean washing! I’m very fortunate that my employer is quite flexible; sometimes I meet Hayden at appointments for the kids (eg. Will’s kinder orientation) and make the time up later.

“I can get very tired though, especially when I was breastfeeding and I’ve found that friendships can suffer because I like to spend all my ‘after-hours’ time with the kids.

“The last three years have been a steep learning curve and I’ve had to learn to let Hayden do things his way. I’ve also found that it’s very important to take time out and to make the effort to socialise, especially for Hayden’s sake.

“Socially it can be tough. My husband has been laughed at for being a Mr. Mum and someone commented to me, “He must be lazy”. These comments upset me because I believe that my husband is more of a man for putting his family first by choosing what works best for all of us rather than simply conforming to the norm. Some assume that I’m working only because I have to, not because I want to and they feel sorry for me which can be frustrating, yet some people think it’s fantastic. In the end, who cares what people think? As long as our family is happy.”

Full-time stay at home mum - Susan

“Ever since I was a little girl, I really wanted to be a wife and mother. I’ve always loved taking care of children and although I didn’t have any younger siblings, I was looking after other peoples kids from my early teens onwards.

“One of the biggest benefits of staying at home is the time I have with my kids, where they can ask questions like, “what is time?” (try answering that one!). I see it as a privilege to have this time with my kids and don’t think I’ll ever have the opportunity to make such an impact on a life so I want to do the best I can.

“At first it was tough getting used to putting all my time and effort into working at home and not getting paid for it. It was quite humbling to be dependent on Steve as the breadwinner. Now I feel like Steve and I are a team doing our different parts for the family and I don’t see it as ‘Steve’s money’ anymore.

“I plan to stay at home until Archie is at school because I think that’s what’s best for us as a family. Because Steve’s job requires long hours, I feel it’s important for the children to have a parent consistently in the home and I’m in the best position to be able to do that.

“I’m really glad I haven’t had to put my children in day care but believe that having the luxury of having Grandparents caring for your children would be a great option.

I’ll probably study at home for a couple of years and then work part-time within school hours once he’s started school. I’m a big believer in taking things as they come though and don’t spend a lot of time planning it out.”

Bringing Business Home

2009-05-18T06:21:00.002+10:00

In years gone by, home-based businesses were considered second-rate, assumed to be newly established and perhaps even unprofessional. Now, possibly because of soaring child care rates and commercial rental fees, mother's all over the place are running busy, successful businesses from their homes. Many have employees and run business meeting at the family table. Shelley Appelgren, based in Emu Plains, is one of these mums.

In 2001 Shelley launched two businesses from home - Pay Solutions and Salon One. Pay Solutions is a direct debit management company, allowing buisnesses to have a more steady cashflow due to regular direct debit payment being made by clients and managed by Pay Solutions. Salon One is a beauty salon membership program used at many salons around the country. Members/salon clients pay a monthly membership fee which is then translated into credit for use in-store, again allowing owners a more steady cash flow.

Salon One was the original concept. Shelley's friends were struggling with their family business - a gym/beauty salon; “Their salon was having its ups and downs so they came up with a concept of a membership program which was to be conducted via direct debit,” Shelley explains. “My friend had the concept and I had a marketing background so she asked me if I wanted to come on board in a marketing capacity. My daughter was only three months old but I jumped at the opportunity.”

Shelley has since bought out the business and now runs Pay Solutions and Salon One with the assistance of two employees.

Pay Solutions evolved soon after.

“There are a number of reasons why we chose to have a home-based business,” the busy Mumpreneur explains. “I have a young family so the flexibility was a plus. The other main reason was that I wanted to invest funds into the marketing and growth of the business.”

Shelley admits that initially, the plan was to stick with the home-based setup for a few years and then to move into an off-site office. But people’s perceptions changed and Shelley realised that moving wasn’t necessary. “I thought if I ran the business from home that people would see me as an unprofessional small business but that if I had an office, people would see me as a more professional, large organisation,” Shelley says. “I think people’s views have changed over the years and it’s no longer necessary to have an external office.”

Shelley’s family have been very supportive of her business and her daughters, Georgia 8 and Ella 5, love watching and getting involved. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing (that they often see me working). They’re exposed to that work ethic and I can explain to them that Mummy’s working to earn money so we can do special things.”

Pay Solutions and Salon One will remain home-based businesses for as long as possible until council restrictions require them to move (many councils have strict regulations about how many employees can work in a home office). When the time comes to move elsewhere, Shelley will no doubt feel a little disappointed. “If you had asked me eight years ago whether I preferred working from home or not I wouldn’t have said it was by choice but now it is definitely my choice.”

A Healthy Imagination - Debbie O'Connor

2009-05-15T06:12:00.008+10:00

Author and Graphic Designer, Debbie O'Connor, cured her son’s dislike of vegetables by writing a book!

When Debbie's son, Joel, decided he wasn't going to eat vegetables, Debbie, who was on a weightloss journey herself, decided to find a solution. The solution came in the form of meal time guest, Andrew Potato Face, and developed into a colourful children's book.

“The book follows the story of Andrew Potato Face, who gets eaten, little by little throughout the meal," Debbie explained. "The aim of the book is to make mealtimes fun and to encourage children to experiment. Eating an ‘eyeball’ is surprisingly fun when you are a little person!"

It all started at a Mother's Group meeting. Debbie expressed her worries and some of the womens suggested she make a 'vegetable face' on Joel's plate. Debbie gave it a go and asked him; “Would you like to eat his eyeballs?” He was so excited that he grabbed a handful of peas and ate them.

Debbie made an Andrew Potato Face book for Joel to enjoy but after she took the copy to Mother's Group and everyone wanted a lend, Debbie realised she was onto something.

“When I lent the original book to other mums in our Mothers Group, they all came back with positive feedback," she sais. "One of the mothers had a premmie daughter who’d never eaten a plate of food in her life. She borrowed the book and she said it was the first time her daughter had eaten a complete meal." After seeing how much it had helped other mums, Debbie decided to have it published. The bright, fun illustrations were created by Leonie Windle and Debbie had it designed and printed through her graphic design company, White River Design.

The books are sold online at http://www.andrewpotatoface.com.au/ and Debbie visits preschools to read to the children and discuss healthy eating. The book is also available for sale as a fundraiser.

Images courtesy of WhiteRiverDesign.com.au

Darren Pead - From Bakery to Blokey Bounty

2009-05-14T06:49:00.005+10:00

A few years ago, retail enthusiast Darren Pead noticed a gap in the retail market and realised he could fill it. Two years, and approximately $1.35 million worth of sales later, it seems that he may have been right.

The market Darren identified was men’s gifts and the solution was Guy Stuff, a classy men’s gift and collectables business. With two stores now open in Sydney and another two being planned for 2009, Guy Stuff is also a thriving online store which sold 10 000 items in its first year alone.

Darren, who also has a passion for collecables believes there is a huge demand for shops specialising in men's gifts. "My main attraction is to retail, it just turned out that it was gifts and collectables, it was almost going to be bakeries.”

At Guy Stuff a customer is sure to find a suitable gift for any man. The stores sell everything from cuff links to bar accessories, model cars and planes to collectable pins and coins and much more. Stores are clean, bright and well set-out, appealing to men, women and children.

Setting him apart from many Australian retailers, Darren puts equal emphasis on his online store and retail shops, placing him in the 'Clicks and Mortar' category. Both online and in store are huge markets for Guy Stuff and both have their strengths and weaknesses. "Our retail shops are enjoyable to shop in and our products fun to buy, so I believe that over the next five to 10 years the retail shops are where the biggest opportunity exists," Darren explains.

Another thing setting the up-and-coming retailer apart is the lack of professional market research. Darren doesn't pay for 'market research' but instead, opts to listen to customers comments and suggestions; "Just about every decision we have made in Guy Stuff has been the direct result of talking to customers," he says.

The current financial crisis is making it hard for Darren to find investors for his growing business but, despite this, has bright plans for the future. "We hope to have a store within 20 minutes of the entire populations of Sydney, Newcastle, Wollongong, Melbourne, Geelong, Brisbane, the Gold Coast and the Sunshine Coast," Darren says. "I want Guy Stuff to be known as the best retail destination for men’s gifts and collectables in the country."

If all these plans come to fruition, a Guy Stuff store will be within 20 minutes drive of 80% of the entire Australian population.

http://www.guystuff.com.au/

Cut the Cost of Cancer

2009-05-13T12:53:00.010+10:00

I remember when cancer was a disease common amongst the elderly only. Many Grandparents (including my own Grandma) sadly died at the hands of this devastating disease.

When I was young, cancer seemed to be confined to the elderly. Now, it's not uncommon to hear of young adults, children and even babies battling it. The word 'cancer' now sends a shiver down the back of everyone - parents, uncles, aunties, children and grandparents. We all now know that we're not immune, and neither are our young children and babies.

Australia's Biggest Morning Tea is happening later this month and is a great opportunity to come together with people who have been affected by the disease and who are determined to make a difference to the future of cancer research and treatment. Many people are holding large events, inviting everyone while others are organising smaller, social gatherings.

Whichever way you choose to commemorate and participate in this event, you're personally making a difference. Every dollar raised helps our children live without the threat of cancer at any age, in any situation and for any reason.

Gender Testing = Gender Selection

2009-05-12T06:43:00.005+10:00

Yesterday a test was made available to the Australian public that can tell the gender of a unborn child, as young as eight weeks old. This has occured despite gender selection being banned in Australia in 2005.

Reactions have been mixed, with some doctors and pro-life campaigners believing that the move only encourages the age-old problem of gender selection.

In India and China, gender-related abortion is illegal and, therefore, it is illegal to determind the child's gender, prior to its birth. If countries who have been around for much longer than we have and who have much larger populations than we have feel the need to put these restrictions in place, who are we to think we will be immune?

We may not have strict traditions requiring male heirs or a society with strong influences on females but there are still countless examples of Australian families desperate to 'even out their family', who try and try again until they are finally gifted with the desired child. This is entirely understandable and we'd be crazy to assume that most parents go into parent-hood gender-preference free.

For most, IntelliGender will be no more than a fun way to extend their planning time, prior to the birth of their child. What we must consider are the extreme cases. Parents who, due to extenuating circumstances, find it difficult to think rationally. The news of 'another girl', or 'one more son' may be too much for these people to handle and, when finding out as early as eight weeks into the pregnancy, is far too easy to 'fix'.

Even though we often don't agree with the politics and decisions of countries like India and China , maybe we shouldn't throw the babies out with the bath water. If they've struggled with this problem for all these hundred's of years, maybe they might just know what they're doing when they ban gender-testing.

Matthew Johns - Humility May Save You

2009-05-11T14:33:00.004+10:00

When I first heard that Matthew Johns was under fire for a sex scandal dating back seven years ago, I took pity on the popular presenter, blaming the media for dragging up the past again. After greater consideration though, I realised that what we're witnessing is actually a really positive thing. For the first time, that I'm aware of, we're hearing the effects that these all-too-common events have on the women involved. When these scandals are flashed across the papers, I've often wondered what the women/woman involved felt about it and wondered why there was never any mention of them/her.

Matthew Johns has a huge advantage. He is loved by fans all over the country and holds regular spots on popular TV programs. He has the greatest avenue to tell his story and render as much pity in the hearts of the public as possible.

The woman who, seven years ago, was involved in the activities portrayed by the media doesn't have this advantage. She finally spoke out about what actually happens behind closed doors and gave these 'mystery' women a face and, more importantly, a voice. She has exposed the shame and emotional trauma these rituals cause the women involved.

I'm inclined now, to be of the opinion that the most noble thing Matthew Johns can do right now, in an attempt to save face and his career, would be to publicly acknowledge the harm he has caused the woman involved. Instead of lamenting the strife it has understandably caused him and his family, Johns might consider apologising to the woman in question.

These sex acts reinforce a common thought (even if it may be subconscious) that women are objects to be played with and discarded as desired. Johns is now in a position to help change this sad state of affairs but may not have the humility to do so.

Bernadette Black - 2009 Barnardo's Mother of the Year

2009-05-08T11:19:00.004+10:00

I was excited to wake this morning to the news of this year's recipient of the Barnados Mother of the Year Award, Bernadette Black.

Bernadette Black and her son, Damien Oliver-Black

After falling pregnant at just 16, Bernadette decided that, despite the odds, she would achieve these three things; she would be the best mum she could possibly be, get an education and write a book encouraging others in her situation. In the years following, Bernadette did done all three and after such a rocky, emotional start, has now been hailed as the years best mum.

Bernadette was nominated by her 15 year old son, Damien Oliver-Black, who said of his mother, "It's like she has a flame inside her that burns and burns to help people," he said. "But she also always has time for her own kids and makes us all feel very special - and she makes great chocolate chip cookies!"

Bernadette's story is so different to previous winners of the Barnardos Mother of the Year Award. While all are very much deserving, Bernadette speaks for many of the unheard mothers. The ones who are assumed inadequate and often ignored because of their young age. How fantastic to have such a beautiful, loving woman encouraging and representing this group of people.
Bernadette's book, Brave Little Bear, is available at her website http://www.bravelittlebear.com.au/

Congratulations Bernadette!

Quotes courtesy of http://www.news.com.au/
Images courtesy of http://www.bravelittlebear.com.au/

Murder or Dogmatism?

2009-05-07T12:34:00.006+10:00

One particular set of parents have been splashed across the media for the past week, being branded as neglectful parents and even murderers. Thomas and Manju Sam's nine-month-old daughter, Gloria, passed away from an infection linked to her severe case of eczema, in 2002.

Despite consistent professional medical advice to take their pain-ravaged baby to a dermatologist, the couple declined, relying instead on homeopathic medicine, much akin to that used in their birth country, India. It has been said that baby Gloria's life could have been saved even up to a week before her death, had appropriate medical treatment been rendered. Gloria suffered from chronic pain, weight loss and, according to childhood nurse, Melissa Hartnett, her skin had "gone past being inflamed". Baby Gloria constantly moved and cried due to the severity of her pain.

This tragic course of events stirs many emotions in me, as a mother. Surprisingly, my initial reaction was not outrage or disgust by the obvious neglect of duty these parents committed.

Mr and Mrs Sam are parents who have allowed their idealism and opinion to replace their common sense. They were blind to the detrimental developments their daughter's eczema was making on a week by week basis due to their strong sense of conviction that homeopathy was the answer to their daughter's debilitating illness.

Instead of feeling outraged, I am challenged by this story to look at my own track record as a mother. Have I doggedly stood by certain choices or opinions, too proud to admit I was wrong, despite the effect this may have on my children or those around me? Of course I have. I think anyone who denies ever having been in this position, parents or not, would be kidding themselves. Pride and self-justification are aspects of human nature we would all prefer to think wasn't a part of our own individual make-up. This story tragically highlights the fact that it is.

With recent publicity labelling the couple as 'murderers', 'neglectful' and a variety of other tags, one would be forgiven for thinking that these people weren't concerned with the state of their daughter's health and did nothing to stop Gloria's tragic end. I believe Mr and Mrs Sam's experience would have been quite the contrary. Like all parents, they wanted the best for their child, especially when it came to her health. They doggedly and, perhaps unwisely, stood by their convictions towards homeopathic treatment and, when their beloved daughter passed away, would've felt the full brunt of their decisions.

Living in a democratic country gives us the right to make choices and also to have freedom of speech. It has been approximately 2,750 days since the death of baby Gloria Sam and, for Thomas and Manju Sam, every single one of those days will have been marked by unimaginable grief, pain, loss, anger and frustration - guaranteed. What have those 2,750 days been like for them? What did they try to do, as parents, for their daughter and her illness? This largely silent side of the story is, I believe, where the real tabloids lye.

Did these parents set out to destroy their baby? I don't believe so. Were they unwise and dogmatic? Probably.

My point isn't whether or not Gloria's death was her parent's fault. My point is that we can all look back and see times when we've doggedly stood by our opinions, despite the cost to others - however seemingly insignificant or sometimes large the consenquences may have been. This story serves as a reminder to keep ourselves in check. Is it right for us to continually fight for our opinions... sometimes even to the death?

Image courtesy of the Herald Sun

Freedom Of Speech or Only To Agree?

2009-05-06T14:37:00.008+10:00

Last month, Miss Universe America contestant Carrie Prejean (Miss California) expressed her opinions on gay marriage after being asked what she thought by panellist Perez Hilton. Much to the shock of the openly homosexual panellist and the world at large, Ms Prejean explained that in her family and in her home town, marriage was between a man and a woman and that she believes that's how it should stay. International media was abuzz and Ms Prejean admitted that by making her opinions known, she had probably sacrificed any chance she had of gaining the title of Miss Universe America away.

Now, photos have 'emerged' of a younger, naked Ms Prejean. Coincidence? I think not.

Ms Prejean addressed her critics today.

“On April 19, I chose to answer a question during the 2009 Miss USA pageant in an honest and personal manner that expressed my views of the long-established definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman... my comments defending traditional marriage have led to intimidation tactics that seek to undermine my reputation and somehow silence me and my beliefs, as if opinion is only a one-way street.

“... photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith... these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive. While we may not agree on every issue, we should show respect for others’ opinions and not try to silence them through vicious and mean-spirited attacks.

“With that in mind, I will continue to support and defend marriage as the honorable institution it is. I will continue to stand with the overwhelming majority of the American people and the voters of my home state of California. If this whole experience has taught me anything, it is ...we as Americans can never allow anyone or any group to intimidate or threaten us to keep silent.”

Here, here!

Read the whole article here: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25437735-5001021,00.html

Quotes and image courtesy of The Daily Telegraph

Joke of the Day

2009-05-05T13:26:00.003+10:00

My five year old daughter came out with a joke this morning, fit to rival Koshie's Sunrise Joke of the Day, segment.

"What happens if you stand in front of an insaust (exhaust) pipe?"

"You get insausted (exhausted)!"

Almost as funny as a Star Wars mad couple who were married yesterday (May 4), during a Jedi style wedding. Their wedding bands simply read, 'May The Fourth Be With You'...

2009-05-04T19:08:00.005+10:00

I recently had the pleasure of speaking to up-and-coming musician, Jess Chalker. I found her to be very down to earth, despite her mind blowing sky-rocket to You-Tube fame after recording herself on her webcam and posting it on the international video site. Jess is a beautiful musician and a great ambassador for the Hawkesbury.

Jess Comes Out Of The Shadows

by Joni Leimgruber
DESPITE international contract offers, a growing fanbase and an upcoming slot with singer-songwriter Lior on his ‘Shadows and Light’ tour, Kurrajong’s Jess Chalker is determined to take
things slowly.
Ms Chalker, was flung into the online spotlight when she posted some of her songs on internet website YouTube. After one of her songs, ‘Said the Raindrop to the Seed’, received
around 400,000 hits, contract offers from all over the world began flooding in.

Ms Chalker, whose feet seem to be firmly planted on the ground, spoke to The Gazette about her approach towards music and her hopes for the future.

“I want to approach this as an artist and build on my craft first,” she said. “I’m still very shy and my performances are still quite intimate. I want to be a true professional before I really get into it.”

When asked how she would describe her musical style, she said it was difficult to categorise.

“No-one really wants to be put into a genre box but I guess my music is alternative acoustic lyrical,” she said.

This year looks like it will be a busy one for the talented songstress, with a tour beginning in March, supporting well respected alternative artist Lior for nine dates of his ‘Shadows and Light’ tour.

“I’m really excited,” she said of the upcoming tour. “I’m a little nervous but very excited. Lior is an amazing artist and I feel honoured to open for him and to have his support.”

Ms Chalker, who also plays piano and guitar and dabbles in the ukulele, finds her inspiration not only in talented musicians such as The Beatles and Joni Mitchell, but also in her circle of friends and family who only discovered her lent last year, when she began posting her music online.

“They felt quite proud,” Ms Chalker said. "They knew that I was singing and playing guitar but I don’t think they realised that I was writing my own songs and doing okay with that. It came as quite a surprise but they’ve been very supportive.”

While Ms Chalker is now based at Summer Hill, her family still lives in the Hawkesbury and are proud of her development as a serious musician and artist.

Jess recently serenaded diners at a Valentine’s Day dinner at Sassafras Creek restaurant in Kurrajong Village.

Sassafras owner Natalie Smith raved about Jess’ beautiful voice, lilting acoustic melodies and
poetic lyrics.

Lior’s’ Shadows and Light’ tour is set to be the final shows before he commences work on his third album, and promises to be a unique and memorable show which shouldn’t be missed. The tour is expected to cement Jess Chalker’s status as a homegrown musician to watch.

For more information, gig dates, or to listen to Ms Chalker’s music, visit www.jesschalker.com
or youtube.com/alleycat82

As published in the Hawkesbury Gazette, January 2009

2009-05-01T12:47:00.005+10:00

Check out this quirky piece of news.

Visiting this exhibit certainly won't be on my to-do list.

HE is an art lover who has dedicated his whole body to his passion.

Now retired history teacher Geoff Ostling, 65, has pledged to donate his skin to the National Gallery in Canberra.

"To donate skin is not the most amazing thing in the world but the tattoos are revolutionary."

The concept of donating his skin was followed in an Australian documentary Anatomy, which has already won international acclaim.

He will also donate his organs to medicine.
"It has never been done as a whole body before and not in a gallery," he said.

"People can be squeamish about it. Portraits painted on human skin hang in galleries around the world. They don't tell you that, of course, and valuable books were also covered in human skin."

Sydney taxidermy expert Sascha Smith said it could be a challenge to preserve the tattoos unharmed but the process would be no different to skinning an animal.

Blerk!

Read Daily Telegraph article by Vikki Campion here: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25411667-5012895,00.html

2009-04-30T19:14:00.005+10:00

I saw this sign the other day:

;

;
:
;
*

They weren't backwards in coming forward were they?

PS - The sign was spotted while spending a lovely morning at The Trainshed near Camden. They have models of Thomas the Tank and all his friends, you can even go for a ride on them! A fun, cheap family outing. Check out their website thetrainshed.com.au

The Sky is Always Blue Above the Clouds

2009-04-29T12:24:00.006+10:00

Today's headlines aren't great; 'New Quarantine Powers to Fight Swine Flu'... '91 Aussies Suspected'... 'ANZ Shares Drop'. Yesterday's were tough too, with horrific murder stories, further talk of a recession and the first cases of suspected Swine Flu on Australian shores.

Now that I think about it, it's been a while since we've had good news. Yes, interest rates are dropping but that relief is somewhat dampened by the thousands of houses being reposessed by banks due to rising unemployment levels.

During times like these I find it hard not to feel like everything is against us and that nothing will ever go to plan or succeed again. In a few months, or maybe even years, I'm sure I'll look back on my (almost) depressed state as being over-reactive and dramatic. I'm sure we'd all agree though, that while we're in the middle of these crises, it's very hard to look upon things rationally.

Recession. Swine Flu. High unemployment rates. We're all feeling it now. Some of us have lost jobs, lost hundreds of thousands of dollars on investments, lost homes or, even more seriously, have loved ones who may be infected with the dreaded Swine Flu.

It may sound sadistic to say this, but I find it comforting to know that we're all going through this, not just one or two pockets of society. It's comforting because we're all going through it together. Most of us know the disappointment of financial loss, the fear of what is to come and the frustration of the now. Most of us know that this will pass, but that right now, the present is all we have. The past was, in many ways, brighter and the future will once again be brighter, oneday. When it comes down to the reality of things, all we have is the people who we love and our faith. But, I guess, that's all we've ever had, recession, boom or sickness.

One thing I love about friends and family is that they're in the position to be able to remind us that the sky is always blue above the clouds and that oneday this will all be a past memory, out of which we'll all come stronger, braver, smarter and hopefully, more appreciative of what we do have.

Photo by Anders Jacobsen
http://www.extrospection.com/

James Dyson - Cyclone of Bagless Tenacity

2009-04-28T19:08:00.009+10:00

This man is amazing. He designed and constructed 5,127 prototypes, endured 14 years of debt and even ended up in court a few times. All in persuit of the perfect, bagless vaccuum cleaner.

James Dyson achieved what he set out to do and is now a multi-billionaire and designer/manufacturer of the world's best selling vaccuum cleaner.

One of his comments that really stuck out for me was, "Everyone has ideas. They may be too busy or lack the confidence or technical ability to carry them out. But I want to carry them out. It is a matter of getting up and doing it."

Take a look at Margaret Heffernan's article; James Dyson on Creating a Vaccuum Cleaner that Actually, Well, Sucks.

http://www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/james-dyson-on-creating-a-vacuum-that-actually-well-sucks/article114711.html

Photo by Dyson

Is it really all up to Mr Rudd?

2009-04-27T16:00:00.005+10:00

As the economic crisis worsens and Australian households begin to feel the pinch, I'm reminded of a report I once saw about The Great Depression of the 1930's. Amid the chaos and fear, due to the domination of real poverty and hardship, the people of Australia were still able to find a sense of teamwork and comradship within their hearts.

One example of exceptional unselfishness that comes to mind is the fact that many employees chose to take paycuts in a bid to save their employer's businesses. In making such a wise and selfless decision, these people probably saved their jobs, allowing them to continue to provide for their family. They also saved a business, which, after the Great Depression would have stood as a foundation in rebuilding society and the economy.

When all we're hearing about is how bad things are, were and will be, it's easy to become disheartned and, as a result, complacent about our part as individuals in the position of our country's economic, social and environmental situation.

I'm challenged to, instead of looking to the Government for answers, look inside for ways that I, as an individual, voting, tax-paying Australian can do my part to improve the situation for all of us.

Perhaps instead of looking for pay rises, we could be content with what we have and, just for now, make do the best we can, with what we already have. We might be able to do without going to the movies or renting the latest blockbuster for $8/night so that we can put the extra money into buying Australian made products instead of cheaper imports.

I'm certainly not professing to be following my thoughts and turning them into action. Just yesterday I exclaimed in what, looking back now, was a very toddler-ish tantrum voice, "Recessions just aren't fair!" to my husband who, much to my annoyance stared at me with a look of amazement.

But one thing I have learned from my little outburst is that no, recessions aren't fair, but nonetheless, what am I going to do about it?

Miss Universe Australia contestant, Renee Slansky

2009-04-23T09:04:00.005+10:00

Congratulations to Rachael Finch, Miss Universe Australia 2009!

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Miss Universe Australia contestant, Renee Slansky, who hails from the Hawkesbury.

Here's what she had to say about the lead-up to the contest;

High Hopes for Miss OZ
by Joni Leimgruber

It’s not often that a girl hailing from Ebenezer is chosen as one of only 30 in the finals of the Miss Australia contest but this year we’re in luck.

Renee Slansky grew up in Ebenezer and attended Hawkesbury High School and Colo High School. She is now a successful model, TV presenter, business woman and one of just 30 finalists in the 2009 Miss Australia contest.

This months finals are fast approaching and preparing for the highly competitive event is foremost on Ms Slansky’s mind.

The Miss Australia hopeful spoke to the Gazette this week. “I’m getting my dresses all ready. I have certain dresses from different designers and Australian labels.”

The competition doesn’t require entrants to utilise Australian clothing designers but Ms Slansky sees supporting the Australian fashion industry as an important aspect of the role.

“You don’t have to use Australian designers but I want to because that’s what it’s about. You’re an ambassador for Australia.”

Ms Slansky uses both established and up-and-coming Australian designers.

In October last year, hundreds of Miss Australia entrants competed at Castle Hill where three national finalists, including Ms Slansky, were chosen. Competition officials have since travelled around the country scouting for entrants suitable for the final 30.

Not one to rest on her laurels, Ms Slansky has her finger in many pies. As well as keeping up with a busy modelling career, she recently became the presenter for a mineral makeup company and features on TV shows like Mornings with Kerry Anne. The talented model is also a sports TV presenter and helps manage a promotions company. Ms Slansky also has a new business in the wings. “I want to start up a new business in the next few months which will be an events company for charities.”

At the moment though, Ms Slansky’s priority is the looming competition. “I’m nervous but I think I’ll be more nervous as it gets closer to the event,” she said. “I’m more nervous about finding my dresses and being prepared. On the night you just be yourself and do your thing. I’m excited!”

The competition final will be held in Sydney at 7pm April 22nd and is by invitation only.

As published in The Hawkesbury Gazette, April 2009

2009-04-22T14:31:00.004+10:00

Thank you everyone for your wonderful support and encouraging emails. It really means so much. Thanks especially to those who signed up and are following my blog. The more links I have the better it is for my 'online presence'.

For those of you who are interested, my website http://www.jonil.com.au/ is now up and running - thanks Justin!

Today I've posted an article which was featured in the reader's section of Mother and Baby magazine a few months ago.

7 Quick & Easy Blues Busters
By Joni Leimgruber

Suffering from 3.30itis or battling sleep deprivation? Here are 7 quick and easy Blues Busters that will have you smiling again in no time.

1. Get out your favourite CD, the one that makes you smile, and play it loud - very loud! Dance around the lounge room. Go on, you know you want to. Sing as loud as your lungs can possibly manage.

2. Make a habit of opening all the curtains first thing in the morning. Let all that beautiful morning glow in. You will get a natural shot of Vitamin D (known to increase energy and duration) in the process.

3. Think of 5 things in your life that you’re grateful for. It might be your children or your best friend. It might be something as simple as a sunny morning or the sound of birds chirping outside your window. Now pause, just for a few moments, and let the feeling of gratitude and appreciation soak into your body. You will feel truly uplifted and ready for whatever lies ahead.

4. Every morning (or anytime you’re feeling tired), take 10 slow, deep breaths. You will feel the energy from all that extra, beautiful oxygen seeping through your lungs and into your body. Do this on a daily basis, and getting out of bed will be so much easier.

5. Ring a friend and talk about what makes you smile. Talk about your dreams and aspirations and everything you want to be and do. Share your excitement with someone who will be excited for you. Maybe you’ll inspire them to express their plans and thoughts as well. Excitement is contagious!

6. Write a list of all the quotes and passages that truly inspire and lift you. Keep them nearby on tough days and refer to them whenever you’re feeling that downward pull. To get your list started, visit inspirational-quotations.com

7. Smile! It’s the most sure-fire way to lift your mood.

As featured in Mother and Baby, Oct/Nov 2008

Folk-popping, preserve-making Emma Craig

2009-04-21T14:13:00.000+10:00

Of Preserving Folk

25 year old Emma Craig can’t decide exactly what she wants to do with her life, but for now she’s happy rocking the pubs at night and making preserves by day.

That’s right – during the day, she makes a living out of creating jams, chutneys, pickles and even honey bread.

This isn’t what you’d expect from a 25 year old but Emma has found a niche in creating amazing, colourful and exotic blends of fruits, spices and honey, transforming her into successful ‘preserve-ess’.

“I love it that I’m doing something that people have done for centuries,” she said. “These days it isn’t necessary to preserve food in preparation for a shortage, but I still like to only use produce that’s in season.”

Based at her parents company, Blue Mountains Honey in Penrith, Emma has spent the last couple of years testing and tasting and now has a large range of preserves with unique flavours, textures and themes brandishing her own label – Peachtree. Emma’s creations are far from the traditional sickly sweet preserves so many of us have grown up with.

The young preserve-ess started out by making traditional jams varieties such as fig and berry but Emma admits, “I’m not a major jam eater myself so I wanted something different”.

Every product in the Peachtree range features honey as a key ingredient and usually spices or herbs of some sort. For example, Spiced Orange Honey Marmalade still has the bitter sweet trademark you’d expect in marmalade but it also has a surprising hint of something extra, the spice mix behind which Emma keeps deliberately quiet about.

Emma’s Christmas Jam (a multi-layered mixture of cranberry, strawberry, cloves, cinnamon and orange) has become a hit, while more exotic blends like Apple and Ginger Jam, and Pear and Cardamom Paste have customers intrigued and often, addicted.

When it comes to cooking, it’s all in the family. Dad, Steve, was a pastry chef and Emma remembers when he used to make wedding cakes. “I remember Dad decorating cakes for weddings. I always wanted to help but was never allowed so I would just sit and watch and stare at the cakes… we love our food!” she adds with a giggle. Both her Grandmothers have also played a huge part in Emma’s passion for cooking. “Dads mum, who had seven children, was a great cook. She didn’t cook preserves but there was always something on the stove. Mums mum, on the other hand has always made jams. I often use her old recipes and ask for her advice if something isn’t working.”

Emma sources her fresh ingredients from local farmers whenever possible, mainly through various Hawkesbury Harvest growers. She also uses produce from Steve’s backyard crop which supplied pumpkins for last years batch of Roasted Pumpkin Relish.

The inspirational jam maker also has a ‘night job’, which is, according to Emma, where her biggest dreams come to life.

Emma is the lead singer of the self-described ‘quirky folk pop’ band, Emfatale & The Scary Rabbits, which plays at venues all around Sydney. Her boyfriend, Craig, plays guitar, bass and keys and does backing vocals for the band.

While Emma admits that she’s certainly not in the music industry for the money, she loves the satisfaction of writing a song and hearing the band perform it. Life experience is where Emma finds inspiration for her songs. “I like to write about things I see happening around me, whether they be good or bad,” she explains. “Public transport is a great place to find inspiration. There is usually something happening or someone who looks like they have a story to tell. People in this area always have something to say.”
Rabbit Jam is set to be next on the menu. Aptly named after the band (and containing no actual rabbit), the jam will form a link between the two careers and will be sold at gigs.

So, how does an indie (independent musician) chick find herself making jam?

“Well.” Emma explains, “Mum calls me The Singing Chef because food and music have always been a huge part of my life. From the age of two I was singing in the car on the way to the markets. If I wasn’t a musician, I’d be a chef. I guess now I’m a singing jam maker.”

With two polar opposite but equally creative careers, Emma can’t afford for her imagination to dry up. “I love listening to birds.” Emma says, when asked how she manages to keep her creative juices flowing. “From a vocalists point of view birds are amazing. Their melodies are endless and timeless. I also find reading food magazines inspirational. I like to know which flavours are in vogue and what produce is available and in season.”

When asked what plans she has for her music career, her answer is infused with excitement; “To win an aria award of course!”

After meeting Emma and experiencing firsthand her zest for life, I have a feeling that this folk-popping, preserve-making, full of life chick is only just getting started.

Catch Emfatale & The Scary Rabbits on April 3 at The Mars Hill Café, Parramatta and on May 2 at Lansdowne in Broadway.

As featured in Hawkesbury Lifestyle, March 2009

Photos courtesy of Blue Mountains Honey and Joni Leimgruber