Murder or Dogmatism?

One particular set of parents have been splashed across the media for the past week, being branded as neglectful parents and even murderers. Thomas and Manju Sam's nine-month-old daughter, Gloria, passed away from an infection linked to her severe case of eczema, in 2002.

Despite consistent professional medical advice to take their pain-ravaged baby to a dermatologist, the couple declined, relying instead on homeopathic medicine, much akin to that used in their birth country, India. It has been said that baby Gloria's life could have been saved even up to a week before her death, had appropriate medical treatment been rendered. Gloria suffered from chronic pain, weight loss and, according to childhood nurse, Melissa Hartnett, her skin had "gone past being inflamed". Baby Gloria constantly moved and cried due to the severity of her pain.

This tragic course of events stirs many emotions in me, as a mother. Surprisingly, my initial reaction was not outrage or disgust by the obvious neglect of duty these parents committed.

Mr and Mrs Sam are parents who have allowed their idealism and opinion to replace their common sense. They were blind to the detrimental developments their daughter's eczema was making on a week by week basis due to their strong sense of conviction that homeopathy was the answer to their daughter's debilitating illness.

Instead of feeling outraged, I am challenged by this story to look at my own track record as a mother. Have I doggedly stood by certain choices or opinions, too proud to admit I was wrong, despite the effect this may have on my children or those around me? Of course I have. I think anyone who denies ever having been in this position, parents or not, would be kidding themselves. Pride and self-justification are aspects of human nature we would all prefer to think wasn't a part of our own individual make-up. This story tragically highlights the fact that it is.

With recent publicity labelling the couple as 'murderers', 'neglectful' and a variety of other tags, one would be forgiven for thinking that these people weren't concerned with the state of their daughter's health and did nothing to stop Gloria's tragic end. I believe Mr and Mrs Sam's experience would have been quite the contrary. Like all parents, they wanted the best for their child, especially when it came to her health. They doggedly and, perhaps unwisely, stood by their convictions towards homeopathic treatment and, when their beloved daughter passed away, would've felt the full brunt of their decisions.

Living in a democratic country gives us the right to make choices and also to have freedom of speech. It has been approximately 2,750 days since the death of baby Gloria Sam and, for Thomas and Manju Sam, every single one of those days will have been marked by unimaginable grief, pain, loss, anger and frustration - guaranteed. What have those 2,750 days been like for them? What did they try to do, as parents, for their daughter and her illness? This largely silent side of the story is, I believe, where the real tabloids lye.

Did these parents set out to destroy their baby? I don't believe so. Were they unwise and dogmatic? Probably.

My point isn't whether or not Gloria's death was her parent's fault. My point is that we can all look back and see times when we've doggedly stood by our opinions, despite the cost to others - however seemingly insignificant or sometimes large the consenquences may have been. This story serves as a reminder to keep ourselves in check. Is it right for us to continually fight for our opinions... sometimes even to the death?

Image courtesy of the Herald Sun